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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

nowdays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicinces and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. do you think this is positive or a negative development?

#nowdays #people #health #alternative #medicinces #treatments #doctor #development
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Today, with the massive progress in medical cures,
the
Correct article usage
an
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 increasing number of
people
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 ,who suffered from problematic health matters,
prefer
Change the form of the verb
preferring
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 to experience
alternative
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medicines
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 and
treatments
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instead
Linking Words
 of consulting with their usual doctor . I believe it is a negative development . some
people
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 believe that it is a positive attitude to apply
such
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alternative
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medicines
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 or cures in order to avoid dealing with some bad
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
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 of chemical types like tablets.some of them may
experienced
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be experienced
experience
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 or
meight
Correct your spelling
might
 heard about that but it is not
the
Correct article usage
a
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 reliable reason to try
another
Replace the adjective
another method
other methods
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methods
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instead
Linking Words
 of academical ones,because any type of chemical
medicines
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 have some side effects that mentioned in their user manual and
also
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 they noticed by the doctor, but these matters could not be a major problem
while
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 they have reasonable benefits for curing the illnesses.
on the other hand
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,by growing up
medical
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with medical
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treatments
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 and
also
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awaring
Correct your spelling
awarding
 about some negative side effects of old ordinary chemical
medicines
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,the medical academic
communites
Correct your spelling
communities
community
 are trying to replace these old
methods
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by
Change preposition
with
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 new natural
treatments
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 to attract
people
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 and avoid them
to use
Change the verb form
using
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such
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alternative
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methods
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 which may lead to
irreversable
Correct your spelling
irreversible
 damages or some dangerous sicknesses that in some cases cause to die. in conclusion, I think it is a negative trend for
people
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 who prefer trying
another
Replace the adjective
another treatment
other treatments
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treatments
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 and
alternative
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medicines
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instead
Linking Words
 of academic
methods
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 which would suggest
by
Change preposition
apply
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visiting their usual doctor .
although
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, there are some
evidences
Change the wording
evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
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 about
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
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 impacts of chemical
methods
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 on other health factors but with regard to new technological natural replaceable cures,
people
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 should rely on their usual doctors and ignore trying
another
Replace the adjective
another treatment
other treatments
show examples
treatments
Use synonyms
 to
aleviate
Correct your spelling
alleviate
 their symptoms.
Submitted by hossein.hajizade on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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