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Band 5

Many people are working longer and longer hours. What are the reasons and effects?

#people #hours #effects
Nowadays
people
 are running
behindwith
Correct your spelling
behind with
a lot of commitments so they need to earn more money to afford their lavishing lifestyle .Everywhere shows a repeated
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
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 which
tempting
Wrong verb form
tempt
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people
's desires beyond their financial limits ,
However
 long
time
 working will impact
humans
Change noun form
humans'
human's
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 health.
Firstly
, The advent of technology is used to market new products in the world so
people
 tend to the new ones which
contains
Correct subject-verb agreement
contain
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 a lot of facilities.In past decades most
people
 did not use cars most of the
time
 because they don't have the financial ability to buy those things but now
mostly
Correct your spelling
most
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 have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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good paying jobs and wealthy lifestyles so we have a chance to buy
a trendy cars
Correct the article-noun agreement
a trendy car
trendy cars
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 and the market
also
 shows huge models of cars .Middle-class
people
also
work
 a long
time
 to fulfil their dreams and they are looking into family commitments. Currently , Everyone's needs
to be
Change the verb form
are
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 based on their wish and their needy products set their status in society,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
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additionally
Add a comma
,additionally
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 marketing technology
also
 tempts
youngsters'
Change noun form
youngsters
show examples
 with curiosity about new products so they will fall the
eye washing
Add a hyphen
eye-washing
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 adverts.The human body needs rest after
work
 but most of them did not get proper sleep and
people
 continue night and day shift
work
 for getting
a high salaries
Correct the article-noun agreement
a high salary
high salaries
show examples
.
For Instance
, a recent Hindu article published most youngsters are affected
obesity
Change preposition
by obesity
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 and blood pressure
for
Change preposition
from
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 long
time
work
 and stress.
To sum up
,
All
Correct pronoun usage
we All
show examples
 have a lot of needs to fulfil our life so we need money but we have to care about our health and must follow a healthy lifestyle .
Submitted by keyarthi on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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