IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays when people have to travel abroad for work, many takes their family members with them on the business trip. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the individual and his or her family members who travel together?

#people #travel #work #members #business #trip
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There is no denying the fact that the main impact of smoking is arguable.
Although
Linking Words
 there is many health
caution
Change to a plural noun
cautions
show examples
 about smoking, smoking
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
significantly
Replace the word
significant
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increase
Change the verb form
increased
show examples
 in all nations. The question is
Add an article
the weather
show examples
weather
Correct your spelling
whether
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 we need to be
concern
Wrong verb form
concerned
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 about
this
Linking Words
?
Change the punctuation
.
show examples
 how we prevent it? In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I am going to explain the effects of smoking and suggest some solutions to solve
this
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 dilemma. In
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of the effect, smoking may have a negative impact on social health.
People
Use synonyms
 who
smoke
Use synonyms
 might be at high risk of lung cancer.
Consequently
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, it might end up
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 death. To illustrate, a prestigious journal published a study showing that 85% of smokers tend to develop lung cancer.
Moreover
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, passive smoking is
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 as active smoking in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that both are prone to lung cancer. smoking even
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
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 the baby of
pregnant
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the pregnant
a pregnant
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 mother. If the mother
Use synonyms
smoke
Change the verb form
smokes
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, it negatively
impact
Change the verb form
impacts
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 the baby.
However
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, there is some solution for minimizing smoking,
government
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 must take actions to tackle the problems of smoking. First and foremost,
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
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 must increase social awareness
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the community and warn them about the danger of smoking.
Furthermore
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, taxing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tobacco can help
in
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apply
show examples
minimize
Wrong verb form
minimising
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people
Use synonyms
 to
purshase
Correct your spelling
purchase
 it.
Moreover
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,
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 must put
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
strong legislation to fine
people
Use synonyms
 who
smoke
Use synonyms
 in public
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
 next to
people
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, health
practioner
Correct your spelling
practitioners
 must educate pregnant women about the danger of smoking
while
Linking Words
 pregnant. In conclusion, in my opinion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 consider that preventing smoking would be better than
have
Wrong verb form
having
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 to cure
people
Use synonyms
 who
smoke
Use synonyms
 it.
Government
Use synonyms
 should take steps to stop
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon from deteriorating
further
Linking Words
.
Submitted by mgumssan on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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