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Band 5

Nowadays when people have to travel abroad for work, many takes their family members with them on the business trip. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the individual and his or her family members who travel together?

#people #travel #work #members #business #trip
There is no denying the fact that the main impact of smoking is arguable.
Although
 there is many health
caution
Change to a plural noun
cautions
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 about smoking, smoking
have
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has
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significantly
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significant
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increase
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increased
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 in all nations. The question is
Add an article
the weather
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weather
Correct your spelling
whether
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 we need to be
concern
Wrong verb form
concerned
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 about
this
?
Change the punctuation
.
show examples
 how we prevent it? In
this
 essay, I am going to explain the effects of smoking and suggest some solutions to solve
this
 dilemma. In
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of the effect, smoking may have a negative impact on social health.
People
 who
smoke
 might be at high risk of lung cancer.
Consequently
, it might end up
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 death. To illustrate, a prestigious journal published a study showing that 85% of smokers tend to develop lung cancer.
Moreover
, passive smoking is
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 as active smoking in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that both are prone to lung cancer. smoking even
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
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 the baby of
pregnant
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the pregnant
a pregnant
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 mother. If the mother
smoke
Change the verb form
smokes
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, it negatively
impact
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impacts
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 the baby.
However
, there is some solution for minimizing smoking,
government
 must take actions to tackle the problems of smoking. First and foremost,
government
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the government
show examples
 must increase social awareness
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the community and warn them about the danger of smoking.
Furthermore
, taxing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tobacco can help
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
minimize
Wrong verb form
minimising
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people
 to
purshase
Correct your spelling
purchase
 it.
Moreover
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 must put
a
Remove the article
apply
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strong legislation to fine
people
 who
smoke
 in public
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
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 next to
people
.
Finally
, health
practioner
Correct your spelling
practitioners
 must educate pregnant women about the danger of smoking
while
 pregnant. In conclusion, in my opinion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 consider that preventing smoking would be better than
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 to cure
people
 who
smoke
 it.
Government
 should take steps to stop
this
 phenomenon from deteriorating
further
.
Submitted by mgumssan on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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