IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

It was predicted that people living in the twenty-first century would have more free time than ever before because of improvements in technology. To what extent has this prediction come true?

In recent years, advancements in
technology
Use synonyms
 have changed the way
people
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 live.
While
Linking Words
 some argue that digital technologies have made little difference, I firmly believe that technological advancement in the twenty-first century has transformed the way
people
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 spend their
time
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, and the reasons will be thoroughly explained as follows.
To begin
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 with, the development of automation has allowed
people
Use synonyms
 today to have more leisure
time
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. Factories and companies nowadays rely on digital software rather than on human labour to complete repetitive and administrative tasks, including accounting, data entry, and scheduling, in order to reduce work
time
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 more efficiently.
For example
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, numerous offices use payroll software to calculate salaries and taxes in minutes, which was a process that once took days.
Moreover
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, digital services,
such
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 as food delivery, e-banking, and online shopping, have simplified many daily activities, allowing residents to complete their tasks without leaving home ,
instead
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 of wasting
time
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 on commuting and waiting in lines.
Furthermore
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, communication
technology
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 has saved an extensive amount of
time
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 that was previously spent on coordination and travel.
People
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 can communicate through email, instant messaging apps, and conferencing video applications, all of which enable them to instantly contact their families, friends, and colleagues across the globe.
For instance
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, a business meeting that has required a full day of travelling, which not only incurred significant costs but
also
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 took a long
time
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, can now be conducted online within hours.
As a result
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, individuals can allocate more free
time
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 than ever to personal development, social interaction, and relaxation.
To conclude
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,
although
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 some might deny the effects of
technology
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 on our lives, I am convinced that the evolution in
technology
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 has provided individuals with more
time
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 to enjoy leisure activities rather than to spend it on work-related chores.

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task
For task response, state your view clearly in the opening and show some balance by mentioning a possible counterpoint.
task
Add more specific examples and explain how they show the trend in time use.
coherence
In coherence, link each paragraph with simple connectors and keep a clear thread from start to end.
coherence
Use one main idea per paragraph and start each with a short topic sentence.
structure
Clear view at the start and good wrap up at the end.
content
Good examples that show how time use has changed.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • efficiency
  • leisure
  • automation
  • blurred boundaries
  • always-on culture
  • advancements
  • smart appliances
  • chores
  • responsibilities
  • leisure activities
  • social media
  • video games
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