With an increasing overweight population some people think that universities should make sport a compulsory module on all degree courses. To what extent do you agree?

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With the rapid improvement of
human’s
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human

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quality of life in
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

contemporary society, there are tremendous entertainment factors which could cater to people’s needs. Obviously, some people are extremely indulging in amusements and it may bring some negative impacts on their bodies,
such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as obesity and diabetes. These days, an issue that has fuelled a heated debate is whether universities have to require whole
students
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to do exercises on campus as the sustained growth of
overweight
Correct article usage
the overweight

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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population.
While
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

it is maintained by some that it is unnecessary to have sports, others hold the opposite opinion.
In
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From

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my perspective,
i
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I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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inclined
Add a missing verb
am inclined

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towards the former idea to a larger extent. First and foremost,
i
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I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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would lend my support to the
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint

The word view point seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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that universities must make physical
education
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

an obligatory module on all degree courses, chiefly based on the consideration that there are a lot of recreational facilities, massage
chair
Fix the agreement mistake
chairs

It seems that chair may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, that may precipitate
students
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to over-relax.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

may bring some detrimental health problems, like obesity, as they encounter
reduced
Add an article
the reduced
a reduced

The noun phrase reduced level seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels

It seems that level may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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of standard exercise, which contributes to the accumulation of excessive fats in their body.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, physical
education
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is extremely important in ensuring and maintaining
students
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

overall
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

well beings.
Additionally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, another point
should
Correct pronoun usage
that should

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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not be overlooked is that there are versatile food choices nowadays, people are able to select what they are most likely to consume for their
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals

It seems that meal may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. Paradoxically, the majority of
students
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are willing to sacrifice their
time
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and energy
on
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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their studies
instead
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

of choosing a healthy meal.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they may tend to consume fast food,
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as McDonald’s and Subway, as a means to utilise their
time
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

more effectively
on
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in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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their academic pursuit. For
instances
Fix the agreement mistake
instance

It seems that instances may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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,
according to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

a report made by BBC in 2017, there are 61.2% of teenagers possessed adipose
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

their long-term consumption of fast food.
Consequently
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities

It seems that university may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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need to make physical activities a mandatory part of the curriculum.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
i
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I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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understand why it could be sometimes claimed by some that it is unnecessary for
students
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to have physical activity
in
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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campus
Add an article
the campus

The noun phrase campus seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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. The reason may involve the recognition that
universities’
Change noun form
universities

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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students
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are facing more challenges in their cut-throat academic competitiveness.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is because
the
Change preposition
of the

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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limited amount of job opportunities on the uneven playing field
are
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb are appears to be unnecessary here.

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provided to them
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker so that. Consider removing the comma.

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so
that
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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they need to make more effort in their academic performance
instead
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

of participating
sports
Change preposition
in sports

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
a news
Remove the article
news
a piece of news

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun news in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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was reported by CNA in 2020,
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming

It appears that time consuming is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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on
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

education
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the education

The noun phrase education seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of
students
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in
university
Add an article
the university

The noun phrase university seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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is increased
5.3
Change preposition
by 5.3

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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%
since
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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from 2012 to 2019.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it demonstrates that sports could be futile and pointless
in
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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some extent. In a nutshell,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the claim that physical
education
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is unnecessary
in
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to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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some extent, my firm conviction is that it is paramount for
students
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to make physical
education
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

an obligatory module
on
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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all degree courses. I would strongly advocate that
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

need to plan their
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

effectively.

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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