IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The diagram illustrates the Life Cycle process of frogs in a pond. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram illustrates the Life Cycle process of frogs in a pond. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The provided diagram denotes the process of becoming an adult frog from the form of
eggs
.
Overall
, the life cycle
consist
Change the verb form
consists
show examples
 of eleven stages starting from
eggs
layed
Correct your spelling
laid
 by adult frogs.
Besides
, half of the cycle is based
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
underwater
while
 the other half
in
Add a missing verb
is in
show examples
 land area.
To begin
, fully grown frogs
lays
Change the verb form
lay
show examples
large
Change the article
a large
the large
show examples
 number of
eggs
 at a time in
water
Add an article
the water
show examples
, which
then
 becomes an embryo. A few days later, the embryo transforms into tadpoles which are clinging to plants in the ponds.
Then
, in the next
stage
Add a comma
,stage
show examples
 external grills develop in
tadpole's
Correct article usage
the tadpole's
show examples
 body to start breathing
while
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 tail keeps on growing. After that, hindlegs
appears
Correct subject-verb agreement
appear
show examples
 to support movements.
However
, at
this
 stage tadpoles live from the food they have stored in their tails. In
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 days, two front legs
appears
Change the verb form
appear
show examples
 to facilitate faster movements of the baby frogs, yet the long tail remains.
Nevertheless
, the tail becomes smaller in the next stages and disappears, which leads
baby
Correct article usage
the baby
show examples
 toad to become younger. With enough food and nutrients , young
toad
Fix the agreement mistake
toads
show examples
 grow into adult forms that are capable of repopulating
eggs
 to maintain the life cycle.
Submitted by dmdeemanthakasun on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words eggs with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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