people today find their lives more and more dominated by their jobs To what extent do you agree or disagree

Currently, there is no denying the fact that
work
has become more controlling in many nations. From my
perspectives
Fix the agreement mistake
perspective
show examples
, I strongly support the statement that society has been strongly affected by the
extrem
Correct your spelling
extreme
workload.
This
essay will discuss my point of view and show why I support
this
statement. on one hand, communities have been negatively affected by the increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
work
stress
. People become less
socialize
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social
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.
For instance
, working
member
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members
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of the family
tend
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tends
show examples
to avoid any social activities because they are more
stress
Replace the word
stressed
show examples
and need to relax. Indeed,
it is clear that
the increase in
work
stress
affected the public negatively as people feel
stress
Wrong verb form
stressed
show examples
and have no time to enjoy family life. Another point to consider is that dominating
work
may compromise public health. Many directors overwhelm their
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
by giving them extra
work
. As result,
this
might affect the
well being
Add a hyphen
well-being
show examples
of the person and cause many diseases. To illustrate, a prestigious journal published that 30% of the employee in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
big companies have been affected by stroke as
result
Add an article
a result
show examples
of
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
work load
Correct your spelling
workload
show examples
. In short,
it is clear that
the increase in
work load
Correct your spelling
workload
show examples
may
detriorate
Correct your spelling
deteriorate
individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
show examples
health and causes many diseases. In conclusion,
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
work load
Correct your spelling
workload
show examples
can negatively affect society. I strongly believe that job has become increasingly controlled
inividuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
lives. As people lost family
binding
Correct your spelling
bonding
show examples
as well as
they become vulnerable to diseases.
Hence
, more attention
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
required.
Submitted by mgumssan on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • dominated
  • encroaching
  • leisure activities
  • continuous availability
  • productivity
  • remote and hybrid work models
  • blurs the boundaries
  • accessible
  • employment insecurity
  • gig economy
  • work-life balance
  • flexibility
  • automation
  • decrease workloads
What to do next:
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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