The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given
process
Use synonyms
illustrates how
sugar
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is produced from
sugar
Use synonyms
cane with some methods. It can be clearly seen that there are seven distinct steps
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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involved to manufacture
sugar
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as an end product from its organic main raw material called
sugar
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cane. After the growing
process
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completed
Add a missing verb
is completed
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,
sugar
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Use synonyms
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
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are harvested by manpower or farmer trucks.
Then
Linking Words
, these collected
sugar
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canes
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are put on the press machine to do
crushing
Add an article
the crushing
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process
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.
Due to
Linking Words
the limited capacity of the press machine, only
exact
Correct article usage
the exact
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number of
sugar
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canes
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can be filled up at the same time.
While
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
long stage
continue
Change the verb form
continues
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,
juice
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which can
derived
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be derived
show examples
from crushed
canes
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is collapsed by
limestone
Correct article usage
a limestone
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filter. The main
funcionality
Correct your spelling
functionality
of
this
Linking Words
filter is generating more pure
juice
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rather than
previous
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a previous
the previous
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mixture of
juice
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. Next
of
Change preposition
to
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the
filterisation
Correct your spelling
filtration
process
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,
purifed
Correct your spelling
purified
juice
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converts
syrup
Change preposition
to syrup
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in
evaporator
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the evaporator
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by applying high temperatures.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, syrup and
sugar
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crystals are collected in
centrifuge
Add an article
a centrifuge
the centrifuge
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. In
this
Linking Words
step,
this
Linking Words
mixture is divided into
sugar
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crystals.
Finally
Linking Words
, crystals are left in the tube for
drying
Correct article usage
the drying
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and cooling
process
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ended up with
finished
Correct article usage
a finished
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good product namely
sugar
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by aeksia on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words process, sugar, canes, juice with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufacturing process
  • sugar cane
  • harvesting
  • transporting
  • factory
  • crushing
  • extracting
  • juice
  • filtering
  • impurities
  • heating
  • evaporating
  • syrup
  • boiling
  • crystallizing
  • sugar
  • separating
  • drying
  • packaging
  • distribution
  • stage
  • process
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