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Band 4.5

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#process #sugar #cane #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The given
process
 illustrates how
sugar
 is produced from
sugar
 cane with some methods. It can be clearly seen that there are seven distinct steps
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
involved to manufacture
sugar
 as an end product from its organic main raw material called
sugar
 cane. After the growing
process
completed
Add a missing verb
is completed
show examples
,
sugar
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
 are harvested by manpower or farmer trucks.
Then
, these collected
sugar
canes
 are put on the press machine to do
crushing
Add an article
the crushing
show examples
process
.
Due to
 the limited capacity of the press machine, only
exact
Correct article usage
the exact
show examples
 number of
sugar
canes
 can be filled up at the same time.
While
this
 long stage
continue
Change the verb form
continues
show examples
,
juice
 which can
derived
Change the verb form
be derived
show examples
 from crushed
canes
 is collapsed by
limestone
Correct article usage
a limestone
show examples
 filter. The main
funcionality
Correct your spelling
functionality
 of
this
 filter is generating more pure
juice
 rather than
previous
Add an article
a previous
the previous
show examples
 mixture of
juice
. Next
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
filterisation
Correct your spelling
filtration
process
,
purifed
Correct your spelling
purified
juice
 converts
syrup
Change preposition
to syrup
show examples
 in
evaporator
Add an article
the evaporator
show examples
 by applying high temperatures.
After
this
, syrup and
sugar
 crystals are collected in
centrifuge
Add an article
a centrifuge
the centrifuge
show examples
. In
this
 step,
this
 mixture is divided into
sugar
 crystals.
Finally
, crystals are left in the tube for
drying
Correct article usage
the drying
show examples
 and cooling
process
 ended up with
finished
Correct article usage
a finished
show examples
 good product namely
sugar
.
Submitted by aeksia on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words process, sugar, canes, juice with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufacturing process
  • sugar cane
  • harvesting
  • transporting
  • factory
  • crushing
  • extracting
  • juice
  • filtering
  • impurities
  • heating
  • evaporating
  • syrup
  • boiling
  • crystallizing
  • sugar
  • separating
  • drying
  • packaging
  • distribution
  • stage
  • process
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