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Band 7.5

Today people live longer after retiring from work. What problems does this cause for individuals and society? What can be done?

#people #work #individuals #society
After
retirement
 from work, these days
people
 are having a longer life. An increasing number of
people
 are concerned about the long life of retired
people
, which perhaps affect the individual and
also
 the community.
This
 essay will discuss the problems associated with
this
 trend and poses some possible solution to alleviate the negative impacts on society. To commence with, the main problem for
this
 aforementioned statement is the government needs to help retired
people
 in terms of finances, which consequences, in bad results for the economy. Eventually, it raises the
overall
 pension amount for the year paid to retired
people
.
Moreover
, another main concern is that aged
people
 have been suffering from various health diseases, which directly or indirectly affect the individual
as well as
 the community.
For example
, a retired person needs more attention and care, which disturbs the family members to perform their routine work and responsibilities.
However
, a possible solution for
this
, an individual needs to contribute more to the
Retirement
 Pension plan on every pay cheque.
This
 helps
people
 at the time of
retirement
,
as a result
, they don't need to depend entirely on government funding for their expenses.
Additionally
, it is often suggested that the government needs to increase the limit for the
retirement
 age group
people
, which helps
people
 to work more and live
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
independent life.
Therefore
, these solutions will certainly help society to overcome
this
 continuing concern. Having concluded,
although
people
 are living longer after their
retirement
, there are several solutions that can be implemented to alleviate the impacts that
this
 trend is having on society.
Submitted by nehaarora6286 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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