IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

the best way to cut down crime rate is by building more prisons and giving longer sentences. do you agree or disagree? what other methods are there to control the crime rate?

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Nowadays,one of the most controversial issues around the world is
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a
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crime,
,,
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apply
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meanwhile
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,meanwhile
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 some believe the best way to control
criminals
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 is by building numerous prisons and keeping
criminals
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 for a long time to make
society
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 safe from crimes.In my ,perspective
this
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 is not an appropriate idea and I will explain in detail in
this
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 essay with some possible solutions.
To begin
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 with there are many factors that keeping offenders for a long time is not an appropriate idea.First of all
criminals
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 with minor crimes during their sentences might be familiar with some dangerous
people
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 or gangs
such
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 as murderers or smugglers and they encourage to follow them as a guide.
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Furthermore
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criminals
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 during long periods of their imprisonment may harm mentally and physically and
lost
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lose
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 their abilities or their knowledge for their future job or to communicate with
people
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 in
society
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 and their families when they are released from jail. In order to solve
this
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 problem the government's duties should not be taken lightly.
Firstly
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 the government should increase awareness of
people
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 and let them know about the consequences of their behaviour for themselves and their families and their
society
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for example
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 authorities can teach
people
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 in
society
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 and schools through lessons,tv programmes, and social media.
In addition
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, authorities because of their legislation can make enormous job opportunities to persuade
people
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 to be
a positive citizens
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a positive citizen
positive citizens
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for
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of
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 their community.
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Furthermore
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,Furthermore
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 parents have a vital role to support and control their children to avoid them doing wrong actions.
For instance
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, they should limit and monitor the time that their children watch or play violent video games or films.Because
this
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 type of activity leads them to be more aggressive and follow some negative
action
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actions
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.
To sum up
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, the government should pass strict laws for prisoners during their imprisonment, create jobs or activities for their
people
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 and increase their awareness with some useful programs in
society
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 and schools.
besides
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 that, parents have a crucial obligation to shape their children. with
the
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apply
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cooperation
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,
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we can gain the desired result.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Rehabilitation
  • Economic incentives
  • Deterrent
  • Restorative justice
  • Reconciliation
  • Mental health support
  • Community policing
  • Judicial system
  • Technology and data analysis
  • Public engagement
  • Awareness campaigns
  • Underlying causes
  • Efficiency
  • Preventative measures
  • Positive alternatives
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