IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#organisations #employees #dress #value #quality #work #appearance
Some companies think that their
employees
 should wear presentable clothes. Others argue that priority should be given to quality
work
. In
this
 essay, I will argue that
primary
Correct article usage
the primary
show examples
 concern of any company should be quality
work
, provided that it’s not a
client based
Add a hyphen
client-based
show examples
 organisation where
appearance
 plays an important role.
Firstly
, if
employees
 are dressed in smart attires it will give them confidence and boost their
work
 tasks completion. On top of that, it will showcase professionalism and will help in
obilique
Correct your spelling
oblique
 branding of
company’s
Correct article usage
the company’s
show examples
 name. To
illusrate
Correct your spelling
illustrate
, organisations whose annual profits are based on client contracts, personality and behaviour including their dressing sense
plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
show examples
 a significant role in closing the deal.
Secondly
,
company
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
 benefits
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
 good
work
 quality;
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
, when people are not smartly dressed. Nowadays, society will not judge people by their looks but
their
Change preposition
by their
show examples
work
 ethics.
For instance
, pharmaceutical companies like Novartis
requires
Change the verb form
require
show examples
well qualified
Add a hyphen
well-qualified
show examples
 and
research minded
Add a hyphen
research-minded
show examples
 people
so as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to develop new drugs for the betterment of
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
 race. They are not bothered about
outward
Add an article
the outward
show examples
appearance
 of a person rather than they are more intrigued by his o
subject
Change noun form
subject's
show examples
 knowledge
expertise
Correct word choice
and expertise
show examples
. In
such
 cases,
work
 practice holds superiority over
appearance
 and dressing sense. I will argue, that every organisation earns profit and respect in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
due to
 its
work
 ethics and integrity of
employees
, provided that it is not a marketing and sales company in which a salesperson becomes a representative of an organisation where
apperance
Correct your spelling
appearance
 and choice of attire
matters
Fix the agreement mistake
matter
show examples
. In conclusion, corporate organisations should
priortize
Correct your spelling
prioritise
 their
work
 over
outward
Correct article usage
the outward
show examples
appearance
 of the
employees
.
Submitted by Aishwarya  on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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