The number of people interested in cosmetic surgery is increasing in order to improve their physical appearance. Why do people do operations to change the way they look? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, there is an increasing trend of cosmetic
surgery
Use synonyms
to upgrade one's physical appearance. We cannot deny that a major of people are willing to look good because it boosts their
confident
Replace the word
confidence
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
essay, we will discuss the benefits of having cosmetic
surgery
Use synonyms
in the first paragraph,
Linking Words
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
in the second paragraph we will discuss the drawbacks. Regarding the advantages of having visual changes, there are two main points, which are to meet the social beauty level and
self acceptance
Add a hyphen
self-acceptance
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in a certain country, the way we look will affect our personal career and affect the treatment of its communities towards a person.
For example
Linking Words
, in
Indonesia
Add a comma
,Indonesia
show examples
a number of job
vacation
Fix the agreement mistake
vacations
show examples
required applicants to be
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
good-looking, and they
also
Linking Words
get
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
better treatment by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Moreover
Linking Words
, some people decide to do cosmetic
surgery
Use synonyms
merely for personal satisfaction or to be accepted by their loved
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, if the core problem is to meet the social standards,
then
Linking Words
it is a never-ending loop because an individual will always seek
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
acceptance
whereas
Linking Words
communities are dynamic
as well as
Linking Words
their beauty standards. A good case in point is that, recently, the trend is a good-looking person is the
one's
Change noun form
one
show examples
that has a straight nose and white skin, but for the next few years
this
Linking Words
trend may change to having a flat nose and tanned skin. In conclusion, as long as the person does not have enough
self-confident
Replace the word
self-confidence
show examples
,
then
Linking Words
he or she will undergo multiple surgeries to meet the level.
To sum up
Linking Words
, the benefits of having cosmetic
surgery
Use synonyms
are to ease both personal and professional lives in
certain
Add an article
the certain
show examples
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
whereas
Linking Words
keep
Wrong verb form
keeping
show examples
up with the social level is a never-ending loop since the community beauty requirements are dynamic, there is no doubt that
this
Linking Words
is a negative development.
Submitted by projectpujamanapa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: