The number of people interested in cosmetic surgery is increasing in order to improve their physical appearance. Why do people do operations to change the way they look? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#people #surgery #appearance #operations #change #development

Nowadays, there is an increasing trend of cosmetic

surgery

to upgrade one's physical appearance. We cannot deny that a major of people are willing to look good because it boosts their

confident

Replace the word

confidence

show examples

. In

this

essay, we will discuss the benefits of having cosmetic

surgery

in the first paragraph,

then

Correct word choice

and then

show examples

in the second paragraph we will discuss the drawbacks. Regarding the advantages of having visual changes, there are two main points, which are to meet the social beauty level and

self acceptance

Add a hyphen

self-acceptance

show examples

Firstly

, in a certain country, the way we look will affect our personal career and affect the treatment of its communities towards a person.

For example

, in

Indonesia

Add a comma

,Indonesia

show examples

a number of job

vacation

Fix the agreement mistake

vacations

show examples

required applicants to be

Change the article

apply

show examples

good-looking, and they

also

get

Remove the article

apply

show examples

better treatment by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.

Moreover

, some people decide to do cosmetic

surgery

merely for personal satisfaction or to be accepted by their loved

one

Correct pronoun usage

ones

show examples

However

, if the core problem is to meet the social standards,

then

it is a never-ending loop because an individual will always seek

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

acceptance

whereas

communities are dynamic

as well as

their beauty standards. A good case in point is that, recently, the trend is a good-looking person is the

one's

Change noun form

one

show examples

that has a straight nose and white skin, but for the next few years

this

trend may change to having a flat nose and tanned skin. In conclusion, as long as the person does not have enough

self-confident

Replace the word

self-confidence

show examples

then

he or she will undergo multiple surgeries to meet the level.

To sum up

, the benefits of having cosmetic

surgery

are to ease both personal and professional lives in

certain

Add an article

the certain

show examples

country

Fix the agreement mistake

countries

show examples

whereas

keep

Wrong verb form

keeping

show examples

up with the social level is a never-ending loop since the community beauty requirements are dynamic, there is no doubt that

this

is a negative development.

Submitted by projectpujamanapa on Sun Feb 12 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

300 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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The number of people interested in cosmetic surgery is increasing in order to improve their physical appearance. Why do people do operations to change the way they look? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that robots are very important for humans’ future development. Others, however, think that robots are dangerous inventions that could have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In some countries, more and more adults are continuing to live with their parents even after they have completed education and found jobs. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, many people have to work longer hours, and they feel more stressed out than before. What are the reasons for stress at the workplace? What can employers do to make their employees’ lives easier?