SOme people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness

#people #money #factors #happiness

Nowadays, there are different opinions

about

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apply

show examples

that

money

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

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essential. Personally, in my

opinion

Add a comma

,opinion

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that

Correct word choice

apply

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money

is the key consideration and I believe that other factors are equally important. On the one hand, I agree that

money

is necessary in order for

people

to meet their basic needs.

For instance

, we all need

money

to pay for housing, food, health care and education.

Likewise

, most

people

consider it a priority to at least earn a salary that allows them to cover these needs and have a reasonable quality of life. If

people

chose jobs based on enjoyment or other

non-financal

Correct your spelling

non-financial

factors, they might find it difficult to support themselves.

For example

, in

Belgium

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,Belgium

show examples

janitor artists are known for choosing a career path that they like, but that does not always provide them with enough

money

to live comfortably and raise to family.

On the other hand

, I reckon that other considerations are just as important as what we earn cash in our jobs or life.

Firstly

, personal relationships and the atmosphere in a workplace are extremely essential when choosing a job.

Secondly

, many

people

's feelings of job satisfaction come from their professional achievements.

Nevertheless

, some individuals choose a career because they want to help

other

Correct pronoun usage

others

show examples

with

money

and contribute something positive to society. For occurrence, in

the

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apply

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Spain

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statistics 85% of citizens alleged if anyone has more than $1,000, they go to prison for five years.

To sum up

while

funds certainly affect

people

's choice of profession, I do not believe that

money

outweighs all other motivators.

Submitted by ina1_95 on Mon Feb 13 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

258 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Promoting happiness
Essential factors
Financial stability
Material wealth
Personal fulfillment
Contentment
Basic needs
Maslow's hierarchy of needs
Social connections
Pursuing passions
Well-being
Mental health
Spiritual practices
Personal growth
Community service
Societal contribution
Philanthropy
Joy
Satisfaction
Prosperity

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SOme people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness

Fully explain your ideas

All children should be given a free laptop when they start high school. Do you agree or disagree?

in many societies, there is a growing emphasis on individualism, with people prioritizing their personal goals and desires over collective interests. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people think that keeping pets is good for children while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy. Which opinion do you agree with? Discuss both options and give examples

the importance of biodiversity is being more widely recognised as increasing numbers of species come under threat what can be done to maintain biodiversity?