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Writing Samples
Band 6

the line chart shows trend in terms of employment in the USA in millions

the line chart shows trend in terms of employment in the USA in millions
#line #trend #terms #employment #usa #millions
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The line graph given illustrates the
employment
Use synonyms
rate
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 in varying sectors in the United States over a 50-year period. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it is evident that there is an increasing
trend
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 of working in the services
industry
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 and a fluctuating
trend
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 of being employed in manufacturing companies,
while
Linking Words
 the
employment
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rate
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 in
agriculture
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 industries is going downhill. Since 1975, more and more
people
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 have been working
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the services
industry
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. There were only about 10
million
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people
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worked
Wrong verb form
working
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in
Change the preposition
at
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 the beginning of the period before the
number
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 began to increase gradually, reaching
18
Correct article usage
the 18
show examples
million
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 figure in 1979.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
number
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 started to rise significantly afterwards, as it jumped by approximately 20
million
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 from 1979 to 1980 and from 1980 to 1982.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that, it is predicted that the
number
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 will keep on growing and
finally
Linking Words
 reach 90
million
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 employees in 2025.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there is a downward
trend
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 in the
employment
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rate
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 in the
agriculture
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sector
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. The
agriculture
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sector
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 has been losing its popularity, as the
number
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 of workers dropped from 80
million
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 in 1975 to 10
million
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 in 2025. At
first,
Linking Words
the
number
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 of employees remained stable from 1975 to 1977.
However
Linking Words
, it began to experience a negative
trend
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, and it is predicted that only 10
million
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people
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 will work in the
agriculture
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industry
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 in 2025. Regarding the
employment
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rate
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 in the manufacturing
sector
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, the figure actually had undergone an increase before it declined. 10
million
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people
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 were working in the manufacturing
sector
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 in 1975 and the
employment
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rate
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 reached a peak of 40
million
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 workers in 1980.
However
Linking Words
, the
number
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 began to decline and there will be roughly 10
million
Use synonyms
 workers in the manufacturing
industry
Use synonyms
 in 2025.
Submitted by emailgadungan28 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words employment, rate, trend, industry, agriculture, people, million, number, sector with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "trend" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
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