IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children) To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#people #community #service #part #school #programmes #charity #neighbourhood #sports #children
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In
this
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 era, some
people
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 argue that volunteering
activity
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activities
show examples
 should be part of
high
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the high
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 school curriculum. In my
opinion
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,opinion
show examples
 I absolutely agree that
students
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 must follow some community service activity
due to
Linking Words
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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 that they will
achieved
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achieve
show examples
. It will be discussed in the following essay. First of all, it is true that secondary education has to support
students
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 by joining
students
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on
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in
show examples
 social service movements
due to
Linking Words
 improve their
emphaty
Correct your spelling
empathy
 and leadership
skills
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. When
youngster
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youngsters
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 involve in
non-government
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a non-government
the non-government
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organization
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organizations
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 (
NGO
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NGOs
show examples
) that focus on charity, they will learn how to help
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other
people
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.
For instance
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, a group of pupils might arrange a charity project to help homeless
people
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 in their place.
Therefore
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, they will gain an experience to be
emphaty
Correct your spelling
empathy
 to other
people
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 and help them.
Moreover
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,
live
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living
show examples
 in
organization
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the organization
an organization
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 will encourage
student's
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students
show examples
skill
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skills
show examples
 how to manage
people
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. Managing an organization is one of
basic
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the basic
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skills
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 that
students
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 must have in the future
especially
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,especially
show examples
 in the
workplace
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.
Thus
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, high
school
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schools
show examples
 should put social
activities
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 in their subjects.
Nevertheless
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, some
people
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 believe that when young
people
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joining
Wrong verb form
join
show examples
NGO
Fix the agreement mistake
NGOs
show examples
 will be
time consuming
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time-consuming
show examples
,
it
Correct word choice
and it
show examples
 will be better for them to learn certain
skills
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 that could help them in the
workplace
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.
However
Linking Words
, I think by
put
Wrong verb form
putting
show examples
students
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 in community
services
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service
show examples
, they will learn
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
important
skills
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such
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 as
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problem solving
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problem-solving
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 and
decision making
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decision-making
show examples
 that will be beneficial in the
workplace
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.
For instance
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, companies might need those
skills
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due to
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 the
problem
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 that workers will be faced in the office. Since community
activities
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 could give pupils learning
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problem solving
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problem-solving
show examples
 and
decision making
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decision-making
show examples
skills
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, they can compete in the workforce. In conclusion, despite
people
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think
Wrong verb form
thinking
show examples
 that social
activities
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 might be
time consuming
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time-consuming
show examples
, I believe social
activities
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 will give much more benefits for
students
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 in the future. They will learn how to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
gain
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
leadership,
Use synonyms
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
, and
decision making
Add a hyphen
decision-making
show examples
skills
Use synonyms
 that will be beneficial for them in the
workplace
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory
  • high school programmes
  • unpaid community service
  • charity
  • improving the neighbourhood
  • teaching sports
  • sense of responsibility
  • empathy
  • broader perspective
  • societal issues
  • college applications
  • job applications
  • positive impact
What to do next:
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