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Band 5.5

Boxing is a blood sport which often results in physical injury. It is inappropriate for this sport to exist in the modern age. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 254 words.

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Introduction
Nowadays
people
Use synonyms
 confront
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a big problem.
This
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 is
Use synonyms
job
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a job
the job
show examples
 for working.
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
 the one hand, there are a number of benefits of
this
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 process, but
on the other hand
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, there are some drawbacks and issues which must be discussed and solved. In
this
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 essay, both sides will be explained and supported with examples.
Body paragraph 1
First of all, speaking about pluses of
job
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 for working. Some
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
 have
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a problem
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problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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 because they can’t good
job
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, but heavily they are lazy. So,
people
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 go
a
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to a
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 6 once a week.
Also
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, some
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
 think that they
don’t
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 have
talent
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 and must usually go
a
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to a
show examples
job
Use synonyms
.
For instance
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,
popular
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the popular
a popular
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 poet wrote
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 book associated with
topic
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the topic
show examples
.
This
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 is George
Orwell
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Orwell's
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 “1984”,
people
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 who
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 written
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
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 have
similar
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a similar
show examples
topic
Fix the agreement mistake
topics
show examples
. They go
a
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to a
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 every day, but they
don’t
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 understand that other
people
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 have good
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 associated with
them
Change the pronoun
their
show examples
Use synonyms
talent
Fix the agreement mistake
talents
show examples
.
This
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 plus
explain
Change the verb form
explains
show examples
 that
job
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 unrelated
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
talent
Use synonyms
.
This
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 is
easy
Add an article
the easy
an easy
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 way. Unfortunately, most
people
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 choose
this
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 way.
Body paragraph 2
However
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,
topic
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the topic
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
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 drawbacks and issues.
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A person
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Person
Fix the agreement mistake
People
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don’t
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 think about
them
Change the pronoun
their
show examples
talent
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. They
don’t
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 want to research something,
create
Correct word choice
or create
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 innovations. In XXI century young
people
Use synonyms
 sit with
Add an article
a smartphone
the smartphone
show examples
smartphone
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
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. They
don’t
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 feel life. After they graduated
school
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from school
show examples
,
university
Correct word choice
or university
show examples
, they
don’t
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 understand where they can work.
Conclusion
To sum up
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, I want to say, that
on
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in
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 your time we see
like
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apply
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a lot of
people
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 go
on
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to
show examples
 the
job
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 without
mood
Correct article usage
a mood
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. They go on the
job
Use synonyms
 because they need money. It’s not good. So
people
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 develop robots. I think, that
people
Use synonyms
 should spend time for
yourself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
. And our will world
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
 a bit better.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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