Many young people today spend a lot of time playing electronic games. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #time #games #development

The development of technology, particularly the internet, smartphones and computers, has revolutionized the way young

people

spend their leisure

time

these days.

Thus

, it has become increasingly common to see young

people

play

games

on their phones or computers. In my opinion,

this

trend is both beneficial and detrimental in equal measure. There are numerous positives to playing electronic

games

a lot.

First,

they help improve gamers' cognitive development, because to progress through different levels in a game, they have to think critically and

take

Correct your spelling

make

show examples

decisions on their own, both of which aid mental growth.

For example

, when I was young, I used to play Clash Royale online, where I had to place my cards appropriately to attack the opponent's tower and protect mine at the same

time

This

gaming exposure helped me grow my logical reasoning, which proved useful for my school assignments where I had to think outside the box.

Moreover

, some e-

games

help young

people

prepare for real-world jobs. Counter-Strike, PUBG and Sniper Elite are all good cases in point. Players of these

games

shoot, defend themselves, or if needed, fly a plane, thereby setting the stage to serve in the military or become pilots.

However

, playing computer

games

excessively does pose problems, if looked at from a different perspective. These

games

take young

people

time

away, which could be spent on something more worthwhile,

such

as learning a language or programming. Because young

people

seek instant gratification, they might not realize that they are squandering their

time

. Aside from

this

, young

people

tend not to socialize with their friends

as a result

of devoting too much

time

to computer

games

This

is likely to lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness from others later on when they grow up and even may make establishing relationships with others extremely challenging,

not to mention

health problems ranging from deterioration of eyesight to weight gain. Playing electronic

games

too much has both pros and cons.

While

, on the one hand, it helps gamers' cognitive development and prepares them for a career, on the other, it can steal their valuable

time

and deter them from socializing. That's why, I believe that it is as much a change for the better as it is for the worse.

Submitted by tjumagul67 on Mon Feb 13 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your essay is detailed and covers the topic comprehensively. However, consider elaborating slightly more on the detrimental side to balance the discussion thoroughly.

coherence and cohesion

To enhance coherence, make sure all paragraphs are of roughly equal length and that complex sentences are split into simpler ones if necessary. This will improve readability and flow.

coherence and cohesion

The introduction is clear and sets the tone for the essay perfectly. Well done!

task achievement

You have provided strong supporting examples that effectively illustrate your points, which greatly strengthen your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

376 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
In many countries, truancy* is a worrying issue for both parents and educators. •What are the causes of truancy, and what may be the effects on the child and the wider community?
Truancy is a huge problem and threat for both parents and teachers. There could me many reasons why students like this action. However, they might do this because they don't like the lessons or teachers or have an exact and reasonable cause.
5
band
Some people believe that children should start learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
The discourse of teaching children foreign language at a young age has been an intriguing one. It draws a question on whether teaching them earlier would be much more advantageous than if not. In my point of view, teaching children foreign language at primary school would be much more beneficial since younger children have a brain that acts like a sponge; thus, they are able to receive information much easier. Not only that, it would also be much more effective since they are able to implement the habit longer.
6.5
band
Some people say that to benefit the development of a child, the mother and father should take parenting classes. To what extent you agree or disagree with this statement?
Parenting classes have become increasingly advocated as a means to support the development of children. These courses aim to equip parents with essential skills and knowledge to navigate the complexities of child-rearing effectively. While some argue that parenting comes naturally and may not necessitate formal instruction, others contend that structured guidance can greatly benefit both parents and children alike.
5
band
Nowadays, the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?
Nowadays, technology seems to be one of the most important parts of many peoples’ lives, especially the internet. It changes the way people interact with each other. The Internet helps people connect with others much more easily than in the past. On the other hand, it isolates people from their friends and family. Both positive and negative sides will be discussed in the essay.
7
band
most employers do job interview before offering a position to a person. do you think this is the best way to do it, or are there better alternatives? what is the best method of choosing employees in your opinion?
In this day and age, interviewing people plays a totally important role in terms of job positions. Personally, I realise that this action can be beneficial for several reasons; therefore, there are also various methods to choose employees. This essay will elaborate on different viewpoints.

Many young people today spend a lot of time playing electronic games. Is this a positive or negative development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries, truancy* is a worrying issue for both parents and educators. •What are the causes of truancy, and what may be the effects on the child and the wider community?

Some people believe that children should start learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that to benefit the development of a child, the mother and father should take parenting classes. To what extent you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays, the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

most employers do job interview before offering a position to a person. do you think this is the best way to do it, or are there better alternatives? what is the best method of choosing employees in your opinion?