Many young people today spend a lot of time playing electronic games. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #time #games #development

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The development of technology, particularly the internet, smartphones and computers, has revolutionized the way young

people

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spend their leisure

time

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these days.

Thus

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, it has become increasingly common to see young

people

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play

games

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on their phones or computers. In my opinion,

this

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trend is both beneficial and detrimental in equal measure. There are numerous positives to playing electronic

games

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a lot.

First,

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they help improve gamers' cognitive development, because to progress through different levels in a game, they have to think critically and

take

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make

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decisions on their own, both of which aid mental growth.

For example

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, when I was young, I used to play Clash Royale online, where I had to place my cards appropriately to attack the opponent's tower and protect mine at the same

time

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This

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gaming exposure helped me grow my logical reasoning, which proved useful for my school assignments where I had to think outside the box.

Moreover

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, some e-

games

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help young

people

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prepare for real-world jobs. Counter-Strike, PUBG and Sniper Elite are all good cases in point. Players of these

games

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shoot, defend themselves, or if needed, fly a plane, thereby setting the stage to serve in the military or become pilots.

However

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, playing computer

games

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excessively does pose problems, if looked at from a different perspective. These

games

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take young

people

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time

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away, which could be spent on something more worthwhile,

such

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as learning a language or programming. Because young

people

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seek instant gratification, they might not realize that they are squandering their

time

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. Aside from

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, young

people

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tend not to socialize with their friends

as a result

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of devoting too much

time

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to computer

games

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This

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is likely to lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness from others later on when they grow up and even may make establishing relationships with others extremely challenging,

not to mention

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health problems ranging from deterioration of eyesight to weight gain. Playing electronic

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too much has both pros and cons.

While

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, on the one hand, it helps gamers' cognitive development and prepares them for a career, on the other, it can steal their valuable

time

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and deter them from socializing. That's why, I believe that it is as much a change for the better as it is for the worse.

Submitted by tjumagul67 on Mon Feb 13 2023

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task achievement

Your essay is detailed and covers the topic comprehensively. However, consider elaborating slightly more on the detrimental side to balance the discussion thoroughly.

coherence and cohesion

To enhance coherence, make sure all paragraphs are of roughly equal length and that complex sentences are split into simpler ones if necessary. This will improve readability and flow.

coherence and cohesion

The introduction is clear and sets the tone for the essay perfectly. Well done!

task achievement

You have provided strong supporting examples that effectively illustrate your points, which greatly strengthen your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

376 words

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Many young people today spend a lot of time playing electronic games. Is this a positive or negative development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Countries are becoming more and more similliar because are able to by the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Online education is becoming increasingly popular. Many students are choosing to study online instead of face - to - face education. what is the advantages and disadvantages.