IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Young people spend less of their free time with their family nowadays. What at the reasons for this? Are there more negative or postive sides to it?

#people #time #postive
A significant amount of attention has been drawn to the issue of whether adolescents have lessened their interaction with their family members.
Consequently
,
this
 essay will discuss the effects of
this
 development on youngsters in the contemporary world and I will invoke the merits and demerits of
this
 circumstance with the help of probable effects, causes and solutions in order to reach a conclusion.
Due to
 the presence of positive assertations regarding young people should not often spend with their family, some have accepted the pivotal role that the matter of learning aspirations plays and the benefits of
this
 situation to the young generation. Essentially, we cannot deny that the question of its effect on children's lives is far-reaching.
For instance
, there are individuals who analyzed the benefits to empower children in order to create better versions of themselves. Generally,
together with
 the downsides of spending less time with families, the impacts
also
 warrant careful consideration.
This
 is because certain arguments give rise to the belief that the result of having
a scattered family bonds
Correct the article-noun agreement
a scattered family bond
scattered family bonds
show examples
 with each other is adverse. There are plenty of instances where unintended ramifications (
such
 as illegal drug use and prostitution)
as a result
 of spending less time with the young have been identified. The Department of the Canadian Society
also
 reflects on a similar line, and
hence
 it is apparent why many do not accept
this
 action. In conclusion, just considering the advantages is futile as there are counterclaims relating to how well children's free time should be managed which obfuscate the case.
Submitted by swevarod512 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: