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Band 4

Some people say many advantages use computers while others say have many disadvantages

#people #computers
Computers
 are machines that can perform multiple tasks at any given time. Nowadays
due to
 advanced technology,
computers
 are part and parcel of everyone's
life
. Whether we like it or not, in the early part of the 20th century,
computers
 became a part of our daily activities
such
 as using an alarm
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our mobile phone to order
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
dinner online. Operating
computer
Correct article usage
a computer
show examples
 is similar to using a knife which contains pros and cons.
Further
, using
Add an article
a computer
show examples
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 became mandatory beyond the age limit. Preschool children learn from
computers
, kids
playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
 on
computers
 and adults do business from
computers
.
Health
Add an article
The health
show examples
 sector
also
 widely
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
show examples
computers
 for diagnostic and therapeutic purposes. In
this
 era, construction
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
mainly
depend
Correct subject-verb agreement
depends
show examples
 on the usage of various types of
computers
. Business is rapidly growing
due to
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 and
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
show examples
 technologies. Billions of
dollar
Fix the agreement mistake
dollars
show examples
 worth
online
Change preposition
of online
show examples
 trade
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 impossible without the
multi tasked
Add a hyphen
multi-tasked
show examples
computers
. Global networking
is based
Change the verb form
has based
show examples
 the
computers
 which is the base of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media. Digital media is mandatory
our
Change preposition
in our
show examples
life
 to get to know the latest news and alerts.
Computer
Fix the agreement mistake
Computers
show examples
 make our
life
 easier. It helps us to store
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
data, photographs and videos. It protects the environment by reducing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
paper usage.
Computers
 replace
man power
Correct your spelling
manpower
show examples
 at various places
such
 as automatic teller machines in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
banks and security cameras in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
offices and
work places
Correct your spelling
workplaces
show examples
. Meanwhile, there are some disadvantages as well
by
Correct word choice
to
show examples
 the use of
computers
. Children are addicted to video games and the screen resolution damages the eyes. Teenagers and adults are
also
 addicted to the digital world and trapped
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
sedantary
Correct your spelling
sedentary
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
 which leads to several health consequences.
Therefore
, the ultimate outcome of
computers
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
mainly
depend
Correct subject-verb agreement
depends
show examples
 on the way that we are using them. If we utilize them in an efficient manner, we can get tremendous benefits
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 them.
Submitted by nusairmsm on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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