Some people believe that children should be involved in educational activities in their free time. Others argue that this puts too much academic pressure on a child. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #activities #time #pressure #child

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Presently, a sizable group believes that pupils should be implicated in developing extra curricula activities

instead

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of leisure,

while

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, others expound that it exhausts children. In

this

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essay, I will discuss both sides of public opinion and give my own.

Firstly

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, I will explore how children's knowledge will be improved by intensive learning.

Secondly

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, I will consider the detrimental impact on well-being.

To begin

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with, technological progress and modern culture demand from contemporary people plenty of skills and abilities,

subsequently

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, from childhood parents try to put in young individuals' brains as much knowledge as they can and instil beneficial qualities.

Moreover

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, when we are smaller we do not possess crucial duties and have a more clear head,

consequently

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, in childhood individuals can obtain more data and experience.

For example

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, in order, for teenagers to master a new language they required less time

due to

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lack of work and fees which must be paid every month.

As well as

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this

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, by encouraging teenagers in educational activities, good qualities can be imposed.

For instance

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, when

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apply

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young person is reading a book and has many activities that they should visit, they improve patience and time management,

thus

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, acquiring crucial skills for an adult existence.

On the other hand

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, increasing the number of individuals who are toiling every day to achieve their goals and to absorb new knowledge,

consequently

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, mental disorders have become more common nowadays.

Furthermore

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, for young people, it is especially dangerous because of their mental well-being on stage forming,

therefore

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, it is forbidden to force and demand children to overwork.

For instance

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, if a school student already studies for 8 hours in educational establishments and have homework and concerns, it will be harmful to overload their mind with other objectives

such

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as learning a foreign language. In conclusion, it seems clear that teenagers should be involved in educational extra curricula hobbies because of the lack of duties and instilling advantageous qualities for them,

however

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, it is caused mental disorders for a whole life. In my opinion, parents should decide for themself.

Submitted by maxbabeshko49 on Mon Feb 13 2023

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19
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

341 words

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