IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

You ride a bicycle to work, but there is a problem with the parking. Write a letter to the building manager to provide bicycle parking. In your letter, you should: why you ride a bicycle to work what the problem is with the parking what your suggestions are.

#bicycle #work #manager #suggestions
Dear Sara, I am writing to request the provision of
bicycle
 parking at our building. I ride my
bicycle
 to work daily as it is an eco-friendly and healthy mode of transportation. Unfortunately, the current
bicycle
 parking situation is inadequate, leading to various issues. There are very few designated spots for bicycles, which are often occupied, forcing cyclists to lock their bikes to railings or other unsuitable locations.
This
 not only looks unsightly but
also
 exposes our bicycles to potential theft and damage. To address
this
 problem, I suggest the installation of secure
bicycle
 racks in a designated area, preferably with some form of cover to protect against weather conditions.
Additionally
, improved lighting and security cameras would enhance the safety of the parking area. Implementing these changes would not only resolve the current issues but
also
 encourage more employees to consider cycling to work, promoting a healthier and more sustainable lifestyle. Thank you for your attention to
this
 matter. Sincerely, AVBCX
Submitted by suthapuch1202 on

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task achievement
Your letter fully addresses all parts of the task, providing clear reasons, problems, and suggestions, which is excellent for task achievement.
coherence cohesion
While your letter is very well-organized, you could enhance cohesion by using more linking words like 'Moreover' or 'Furthermore' to connect your ideas seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
The letter has a logical structure and flows well from one idea to the next.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is polite and appropriate for a formal request.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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