The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#show #changes #ownership #appliances #amount #time #housework #households #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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The line chart gives information about the changes in owning

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

electrical machines and the proportions of time spent doing chores in families in one nation between 1920 and 2019.It is clear from the graph that the percentage of

number

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the number

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of hours per week

was

Unnecessary verb

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declined over the years.

According to

Linking Words

what is shown,in 1920 the ratio of households who

were

Unnecessary verb

apply

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used refrigerator

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

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increased sharply till 1980.

Then

Linking Words

,it remained constant at 100%.

Moreover

Linking Words

,the

percent

Replace the word

percentage

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of households with

vacuum

Add an article

a vacuum

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cleaner

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

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rose in 1920 and maintained the same level

with

Change preposition

show examples

Add an article

a refrigerator

the refrigerator

show examples

refrigerator

Fix the agreement mistake

refrigerators

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in 2000.

As for

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apply

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,the rate of households who owned washing machine

was fluctuated

Change to the active voice

fluctuated

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till 2019.

In addition

Linking Words

,the figures

Change preposition

for

show examples

hours of chores per week started to

decreased

Change the verb

decrease

show examples

gradually from 1920 until 1960.The period from 1980 to 2000 saw a stable remain in the number of hours.

Then

Linking Words

,it dropped dramatically.

To sum up

Linking Words

,we could say that the proportion of families with

Add an article

the refrigerator

show examples

refrigerator

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refrigerators

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was the highest percentage compared with the other electrical machines.

Submitted by 19-0415 on Mon Feb 13 2023

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.

▼

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

158 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

household appliances
time-efficient
labour-saving devices
technological innovations
ownership rate
housework chores
domestic workload
automation
advancements
trend analysis
societal shifts
economic impact
durability
lifespan of appliances
maintenance
historical comparison
time allocation
drudgery reduction
energy consumption
disruption in trends

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Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.