IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The diagram shows how the rainwater is collected for the use of drinking water in Australia.

The diagram shows how the rainwater is collected for the use of drinking water in Australia.
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The diagram illustrates the process of how could collect
rainwater
Use synonyms
 to translate it into drinking
water
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, explain the specific equipment used.The location is an Australian townhouse.
Initially
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 it's raining the
rainwater
Use synonyms
 congregates inside the drain which is connected underground to the houses. In the way to
water
Use synonyms
 filter to filtrate. Moving down into storage and
then
Linking Words
 transporting to
water
Use synonyms
 treatment,
additionally
Linking Words
 to the chemicals in it.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
water
Use synonyms
 goes up into the faucet as a final station and becomes able to be drunk
as a result
Linking Words
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the whole process is contact and every element is participate in the success.
Also
Linking Words
,
rainwater
Use synonyms
 collected from houses can be used for drinking. To summarize, there were seven main steps how to recycle
rainwater
Use synonyms
 into drinking
water
Use synonyms
 in Australia. Begin from ineligible
water
Use synonyms
 to drink, into filtered
water
Use synonyms
 and have the ability to use it as a drink for the people who live in the town.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words rainwater, water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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