Some people feel that fashion is like art and a significant part of society, while others feel that fashion is a waste of time and money. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In the
last
few ,years
fashion
has played a key role in modern society. Some people think that
fashion
can be compared to
art
, having a pivotal role in everyone's life,
while
others describe it as a waste of time and money. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I will discuss both opinions and provide some examples of brands as Off-white that made pieces considered
art
.
Firstly
, I must say that the clothing industry has become very popular; in fact, nowadays, outfits are very important especially for young adults, because, as
art
did in the past, they are seen as new ways to express feelings and emotion through combinations colours and fits; in ,addiction designers are seen as stars, for ,example Virgil Abloh, who recently passed away, reached the status of an icon thanks to his brand off-white and some collaborations with Nike.
On the other hand
, we have a very different vision of the world, that considers clothing as something to wear to go outside, without an artistic meaning; in ,addition people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
think
this
way, can non understand why,
for example
, a designer's jacket costs five hundred dollars in the boutique and a similar one is only fifty at the local shop, addressing the difference only to the name of the brand. In my ,opinion there is no right way to see
this
topic; It's up to everyone's intelligence to balance what's important; even if I consider
fashion
a high-value industry in terms of
art
and creativity I can't understand those people who,
for example
buying a t-shirt for over 150 dollars or a jacket for over a thousand dollars just because it's cool. To summarise we can't find the right choice between considering
fashion
as
art
or just as something to put on; In my ,opinion everyone has to understand what's more valuable to him, in order to match his interests,
personally
Add a comma
personally,
show examples
I do like
fashion
Add an article
the fashion
show examples
industry and I consider it as a form of
art
but I will never pay too much for any piece just because it's beautiful.
Submitted by cattariky02 on

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Task Response
Task Response: The essay discusses both views and provides examples, but the introduction and conclusion should be strengthened to better align with the task.
Coherence & Cohesion
Coherence & Cohesion: The essay demonstrates logical structure but lacks clear introduction and conclusion. Additionally, the use of transitions and cohesive devices could be improved for better coherence and cohesion.
Lexical Resource
Lexical Resource: The vocabulary and word choice are adequate, but some inaccuracies and repetitions are present. Aim for more precise and varied vocabulary to enhance the lexical resource.
Grammatical Range
Grammatical Range: The essay displays a mix of both complex and simple sentences. However, there are several instances of grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Focus on improving sentence structures and grammatical accuracy for a wider range.

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-expression
  • cultural heritage
  • global economy
  • fast fashion
  • environmental harm
  • consumerism
  • innovation
  • trends
  • superficiality
  • cultural identity
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