IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram shows how the rainwater is collected for the use of drinking water in Australia.

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The diagram illustrates a particular way to collect rainwater and transform it into drinkable
water
Use synonyms
 and use it in homes in some parts of Australia.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is a linear process, which has three steps, starting with the collection of the
water
Use synonyms
 when it is raining and ending up with the
water
Use synonyms
 available for human safe intake. In the first stage, the
water
Use synonyms
 drains through the ceiling to the tubes under the house. The
water
Use synonyms
 travels inside the tube and passes to a
water
Use synonyms
 filter, where after it has been filtered, the
water
Use synonyms
 travels again inside the tubes and arrives in a storage room under the house.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the
water
Use synonyms
 passes to another room where chemicals are added to the
water
Use synonyms
 to
being
Wrong verb form
be
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 treated. At
this
Linking Words
stage
Add a comma
,stage
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 the
water
Use synonyms
 has to stay for some hours, so the chemicals can clean the
water
Use synonyms
 and make it safer for drinking. After that, the
water
Use synonyms
 goes up through the tubes and it is ready to be consumed by people.

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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