IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people prefer to work for themselves or own a business. Others prefer to work for an employer. Would you rather be self-employed, work for someone else, or own a business? Use specific reasons to explain your choice.

#people #work #business #employer #someone #choice
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a number of
people
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 prefer to establish a new job with their idea.
in contrast
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, there are viewpoints in some
people
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 to work as an employee. in
this
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 state, I want to discuss both sides of these views. on the one hand, some
people
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 have a positive attitude towards being an employee. from
this
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 point of view, they believe
this
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 method has less stress than when we are a boss in our own company. From
this
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 standpoint, if we are creators of the
business
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, we will unable to spend enough dates with our family, as most of the time we are busy.
however
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, I don't find
this
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 argument valid because the employer or holder of the
business
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 is able to manage their time and solve several of these problems.
on the other hand
Linking Words
, a group of
people
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 have
this
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 perspective that the merits of the owner of a company are far more than work as a member. they believe that if a person stays in the worker position, they eliminate most of their talent.
additionally
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, they are willing to improve some stage of themselves when they are the owner of a
business
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. so they try more.
moreover
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 from an economic viewpoint, if each person wants to achieve the best economic stage, they must take a risk and establish their own idea in their own jobs. in conclusion, in my personal opinion,
although
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 there are some drawbacks when they are owners of the
business
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, the merits of that are overweight. so they can solve most of the problems with control of their time.
Submitted by amirhsina on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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