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Writing Samples
Band 5

The pie charts below show the most common advantages and disadvantages of Bowen Island, according to a survey of visitors.

The pie charts below show the most common advantages and disadvantages of Bowen Island, according to a survey of visitors.
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The pie chart elaborates on the benefits and drawbacks of visiting Bowen
island
Use synonyms
 depending on the views of the tourists.Here they have taken common areas into account to evaluate their service. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective it is readily apparent that most of the visitors find the high cost of living as a limiting factor
whereas
Linking Words
 they are satisfied with the hospitability of the residents.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,given details illustrate four main advantages and disadvantages that people have accounted for their stay. On one hand ,50% of the total visitors have assumed expenses as a major issue,
while
Linking Words
 a quarter of visitors
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 disappointed with entertainment facilities.The weather on the
island
Use synonyms
 felt drastic by 15% and only 10% found food quality was not up to the stand.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, 42% of travellers enjoyed the hospitality of people and they were happy with the residents' support.32% enjoyed the scenery of Bowen
island
Use synonyms
 .With regard to accommodation ,only 11% 0had positive thoughts and 12% admired the culture on the
island
Use synonyms
.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words island with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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