IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

It has recently been announced that a new movie theater may be built in your neighborhood. Do you support or oppose this plan? Why? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

#movie #theater #neighborhood #support #plan
Following the announcement from my neighbourhood, the cinema might be constructed near my home.
Although
this
 project will be ideal for citizens near here because we can get closer to the entertainment activities,
however
, built a new
movie
theatre
 can create trash and dirtiness and disturb people's daily schedule, so, I do not support
this
 project.
Firstly
, the cleanliness of the town
Add the comma(s)
, while the movie theatre is set up,
show examples
while
 the
movie
theatre
 is set up might be affected.
For instance
, during working hours, the workers might process rubbish or trash from the food they ate.
Additionally
, the environment staff only are here third times a week but to construct the
movie
theatre
, workers should work 5 days a week. With the number of rubbish people produced and the minor tendency of environmental staff, it challenging to ensure
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cleanliness nearby.
Secondly
, the working timetable of the cinema might affect people's daily schedules. Normally, the
movie
theatre
 will open from 10:00 till midnight, the noise from the
theatre
as well as
 from customers might make the neighbourhood distracted or meet insomnia which leads to breaking their schedule for the next day.
Overall
, having a
movie
theatre
 will provide
relaxation
Replace the word
relaxing
show examples
 entertainment
as well as
 make our town more convenient,
however
, the doubt about the dirtiness and how to ensure the scenery's cleanliness
while
 setting up the
theatre
as well as
 the showing hours of the
theatre
 still make me hard to accept
this
 event.
Submitted by cynthiaquynhphan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: