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Writing Samples
Band 6

Today, many people use the internet and smartphones to transfer money to friends, family, and businesses. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #internet #smartphones #transfer #money #friends #businesses #development
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Smartphones
Use synonyms
 and the
internet
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 have revolutionized the way the world worked. In the present time,
money
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 transactions among friends, families and businesses are a very common practice possible
due to
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 the
internet
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 and
smartphones
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. I believe that it is more of a positive development which will be thoroughly discussed in the following paragraphs. There are a plethora of advantages to getting everything done digitally with the help of
smartphones
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 and the
internet
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.
To begin
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 with, it is the fastest way of transferring
money
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 between two peers.
For instance
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,
money
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 transfer at
fingertips
Correct article usage
the fingertips
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 is possible through the
internet
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 and
smartphones
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.
Moreover
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, unlike physical cash one does not need to worry about writing down expenses as every transaction will be saved in smartphone applications or software. Another advantage worth mentioning is the security of online transactions. Mobile banking provides 256-bit encryption which is the most secure and it is way better than traditional methods. To exemplify, it will be really unsafe to carry a huge amount of cash to take it to another place,
whereas
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 it is easy and secure enough with a smartphone.
On the other hand
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, there are a few charges that banks take for the services they provide which not be accessible to everyone.
Furthermore
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,
at
Change preposition
apply
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last
Add a comma
,last
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 it is a computer program
hence
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 it might get crash or stop working in
Add an article
a
the
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time of need,
hence
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 is not as reliable as physical systems.
To conclude
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, there are very few negative points as compared to the advantages that are offered by the
internet
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 and smartphone for the transfer of
money
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 to their near and dear ones.
As a result
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, every country should promote using these features to make their life easy and efficient.
Submitted by Aryan Patel on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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