IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally. Discussion both sides and give your opinion

#people #scale #discussion
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Some folks argue that all governments should unite and fix the environmental
problems
Use synonyms
 together. An alternative belief regards that the above
problem
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 should be solved on a national scale. In
this
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 ,essay both points of view are going to be examined and a particular option will be provided. On the one hand, we are living in the technology era and technology should
share
Wrong verb form
be shared
show examples
 between other countries to solve
the
Correct article usage
apply
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environmental
Use synonyms
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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. The environmental
problems
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 are supposed to be similar on the whole globe.
For instance
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, global warming is one of the biggest
problems
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 in the world. The
last
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 time our carbon dioxide levels on our planet were as high as today was 4 million years ago. Increased emissions of industrial waste have led to a rapid and steady increase in global temperature.
Nevertheless
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, the solution is to integrate new regulations and technology by all governments, all countries should cooperate in order to make a regulation about emissions for all firms.
On the other hand
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, the second most important
problem
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 is deforestation.
This
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problem
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 is supposed to be the killer of local animals.
Moreover
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, it is damaging our environment every day. Not all countries have woods.
In addition
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, every country has unique points and
problems
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. The solution is every country should introduce their regulations
itself
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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.
To sum up
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, I reckon that, both ways are appropriate for those
problems
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. I wish the government would fix the environmental
problems
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 as soon as possible.
Submitted by danyukvitaliy2015 on

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Task Response
Task Response: The essay addresses the question, but there are some inconsistencies in the arguments presented. Additionally, the conclusion does not clearly state a specific opinion or provide a resolution to the question. It is important to clearly address both sides of the argument and conclude with a definitive position.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has a basic logical structure and includes an introduction and conclusion. However, the link between ideas is sometimes unclear or the connection between paragraphs is weak. Ensure that there is a smooth transition between points and that the overall structure of the essay is well-organized.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • unified response
  • consensus
  • autonomy
  • sovereignty
  • frameworks
  • sustainability
  • multilateral agreements
  • cross-border issues
  • ecosystems
  • carbon footprint
  • renewable energy
  • biodiversity
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • environmental policy
  • sustainable development
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