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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Human society has made great technological progress in the last 100 years. Some people think this also has negative effects on our life. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#society #progress #years #people #effects #life
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During the
last
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 century the way we live changed a lot,
this
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 is partially
due to
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 all the new inventions and discoverings.
However
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, it is
common
Add an article
a common
show examples
 thought that not every progress made has actually
improven
Correct your spelling
improved
improve
improves
 our
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
life
Use synonyms
,
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moreover
Add a comma
,moreover
show examples
 some
devolpment
Correct your spelling
development
 even made things worse. I am a firm supporter of change and I actually believe that going forward in time we as humans tend to make the world
a
Change the article
an
show examples
overall
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 better place,
for example
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,
elevating
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by elevating
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life
Use synonyms
standars
Correct your spelling
standards
 or finding new energy sources . For first I guess it is impossible not to see a bright side in how
life
Use synonyms
 conditions saw a sudden improvement
throughtout
Correct your spelling
throughout
 the
last
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years
Correct quantifier usage
few years
show examples
, even countries that before were far beyond
on
Change preposition
apply
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development somehow managed to get better
due to
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 all the new possibilities given by technology. Specifically, Africa, thanks to an
overall
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 evolution of medicine, was able to dramatically reduce its
deaths
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death
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 rate and
consequencially
Correct your spelling
consequentially
 elevate its
avarage
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average
life
Use synonyms
expections
Correct your spelling
expectations
.
Secondly
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,
also
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 the planet benefitted from the latest
scientical
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scientific
scientifical
 findings,
such
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 as
renowable
Correct your spelling
renewable
 energy, that made it possible to decrease pollution levels and make the planet greener.
Eventhought
Correct your spelling
Even though
,
some
Correct word choice
though some
show examples
 of
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 new ways to produce energy resulted in
catastrofic
Correct your spelling
catastrophic
 events, like what happened with nuclear power, it is possible to state that
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
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 are way above
downsides
Correct article usage
the downsides
show examples
. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 I think that mankind, learning
by
Change preposition
from
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 its errors, is able to evolve and thanks to the
colloboration
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collaboration
 of the brightest minds not only
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
survive but
also
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to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
find ways to fully
maximazime
Correct your spelling
maximize
 the potential of what we have.
Submitted by cattariky02 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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