Some people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? What other factors contribute towards happiness?

#people #money #factors #happiness

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Some

individuals

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believe that fund is one of the most important factors for achieving

happiness

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Firstly

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

essay will discuss the importance of

money

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and

secondly

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discuss other factors which

Unnecessary verb

apply

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help to achieve

happiness

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. On the one hand, it is true that cash is a vital source for achieving

happiness

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. If

the

Correct article usage

apply

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people

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have enough

money

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they are able to do what they want.

Clear

Correct article usage

The clear

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vision is that

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apply

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by helping

money

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people

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can travel

through out

Correct your spelling

throughout

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the world and purchase everything.

However

Linking Words

money

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can be a pill for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

ill

individuals

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For example

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, recently from Tv program called "Helping

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

people

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" posted that 23.7% of

people

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receivemoney

Correct your spelling

receive money

for treatment from the government and it was a reason to be happy.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there a lot of sources which is makes

individuals

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happy.

Money

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does not mean

happiness

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. From the statistics , some of the wealthy

individuals

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inform that there unhappy because of many reasons

however

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the poor

people

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inform that there happy. Because the poor

has

Change the verb form

have

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not

Correct your spelling

show examples

problems in their family.

For instance

Linking Words

people

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who

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

financial difficulties

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

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enough time for spending with their family

Correct pronoun usage

which

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means that there able to control their children.

Meanwhile

Add a comma

,Meanwhile

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as wealthy

people

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have a lot of

job

Change to a plural noun

jobs

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they can not

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apply

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together with

Linking Words

their

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

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which is why they are unhappy. Taking everything into consideration,

money

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is not the key to

happiness

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Happiness

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is to be healthy and

spending

Wrong verb form

spend

show examples

time with the family.

Submitted by ina1_95 on Wed Feb 15 2023

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

245 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Promoting happiness
Essential factors
Financial stability
Material wealth
Personal fulfillment
Contentment
Basic needs
Maslow's hierarchy of needs
Social connections
Pursuing passions
Well-being
Mental health
Spiritual practices
Personal growth
Community service
Societal contribution
Philanthropy
Joy
Satisfaction
Prosperity

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Some people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? What other factors contribute towards happiness?

Your opinion

recently there benn a considerable trend towards wantingto move out of urban areqas and into rural ones . what are the advantages and disadvantages of living in rural areas?

Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that governments should pay full course fees for students who want to study in universities. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? (rewrite)

The US film industry has too much influence on the film industry around the world. Governments have a duty to invest money in their own film industries to protect and develop their cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?