Some people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness. Do you think people can be happy without much money? What other factors contribute towards happiness?

Some
individuals
believe that fund is one of the most important factors for achieving
happiness
.
Firstly
this
essay will discuss the importance of
money
and
secondly
discuss other factors which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
help to achieve
happiness
. On the one hand, it is true that cash is a vital source for achieving
happiness
. If
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
have enough
money
they are able to do what they want.
Clear
Correct article usage
The clear
show examples
vision is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
by helping
money
people
can travel
through out
Correct your spelling
throughout
show examples
the world and purchase everything.
However
,
money
can be a pill for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ill
individuals
.
For example
, recently from Tv program called "Helping
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
people
" posted that 23.7% of
people
receivemoney
Correct your spelling
receive money
for treatment from the government and it was a reason to be happy.
On the other hand
, there a lot of sources which is makes
individuals
happy.
Money
does not mean
happiness
. From the statistics , some of the wealthy
individuals
inform that there unhappy because of many reasons
however
the poor
people
inform that there happy. Because the poor
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
problems in their family.
For instance
,
people
who
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
financial difficulties
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
enough time for spending with their family
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
means that there able to control their children.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
,Meanwhile
show examples
as wealthy
people
have a lot of
job
Change to a plural noun
jobs
show examples
they can not
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
be
together with
their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
which is why they are unhappy. Taking everything into consideration,
money
is not the key to
happiness
.
Happiness
is to be healthy and
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
time with the family.
Submitted by ina1_95 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Promoting happiness
  • Essential factors
  • Financial stability
  • Material wealth
  • Personal fulfillment
  • Contentment
  • Basic needs
  • Maslow's hierarchy of needs
  • Social connections
  • Pursuing passions
  • Well-being
  • Mental health
  • Spiritual practices
  • Personal growth
  • Community service
  • Societal contribution
  • Philanthropy
  • Joy
  • Satisfaction
  • Prosperity
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