IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

People in the current generations are not fit and active. What are the problems. What can be done to encourage people to participate in sports activities.

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Individuals
Use synonyms
 have been becoming a new generation who lack vitality since the 21st century began. It implies that an increasing number of citizens have a low desire to finish daily
sports
Use synonyms
. Some reasons can be used to explain.
As well as
Linking Words
, in order to address the troublesome issue, there are two primary methods that will be used.
Firstly
Linking Words
, numerous jobs are sedentary currently, including drivers riding in a car, telephone salespeople answering phones from customers, and so on;
therefore
Linking Words
, they don't have more opportunities to fit themselves during the period of
work
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.
Moreover
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, most of them who attend these kinds of jobs do not have enough energy to exercise after finishing tasks.
For instance
Linking Words
, the latest survey from the Singapore Society Newspaper reported that approximately 80% of younger workers are complaining that lack of
time
Use synonyms
 has become the primary reason why give up daily exercises.
Consequently
Linking Words
, it is an unignorable fact that modern
work
Use synonyms
 styles had undermined local peoples' physical health before everyone got the awareness. The authorities are mainly responsible for the problem if
individuals
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 want to address it.
As a result
Linking Words
, the administration can tackle the dilemma of
time
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, like lacking
sports
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due to
Linking Words
 overlong hours of
work
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, by legislating new employment laws to force and supervise employers to shorten the
time
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work
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;
therefore
Linking Words
,
individuals
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 who got short working
time
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 have a higher likelihood to keep fit. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 it is an unchangeable social phenomenon that a majority of ordinary people fail to have more chances to do daily
sports
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 current
work
Use synonyms
 styles, it is a practical way that encourages more
individuals
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 to take part in different types of
sports
Use synonyms
 activities, if new laws can be enacted by local governments, which is a reduction of compulsory working hours.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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