Today's children are living under more pressure from the society than children in the past . To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

There is no doubt that
children
are under observation for better planning in the nascent world overview.
wheareas
Correct your spelling
whereas
,
although
modernism may show some of these traits
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
this
is not a new phenomenon as it is only reasonable up to a point.
To begin
with, it is important to acknowledge that
children
are the reflection of a more intense lifestyle in the present situation.
this
is
due to
the fact that competition is the new norm in any case of everyday
life
.
For example
, from
early
Add an article
the early
show examples
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
they have developed a mindset to follow rules like behaving gently
then
force to attend a preschool which eventually creates more pressure and various psychological disorders. if parents willingly focus on the fitness of their
children
rather than a challenge from
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society they could have garnered more positivity in future than the
environments
Fix the agreement mistake
environment
show examples
and situation encouraging the guardian to take necessary steps as fast as possible leaving with a more structured and planned
life
for their
children
.
As a result
, those who envisioned
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
mastering
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their passion that would have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
come after pursuing their education will disappear.
Nevertheless
, there are often limits
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
how much we are discovering when it comes to measuring the pressure of
a
Change the article
an
show examples
adolescent.
This
is because we are
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the verge of technology and flexibility that makes it even possible to outperform in any activities without leaving our comfort zone. It is often said that science made
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new room for performing a task from homework to
assingment
Correct your spelling
assignment
assessment
in the workplace in a minimal time period with an excessive amount of information
availabile
Correct your spelling
available
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online, any mentor can encourage them to use
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
practical
life
to make additional time for family and to exercise brain power in extra sports activities.
In contrast
, it is more than possible that
such
work could be overloaded if there was not any invention it will more likely produce the feeling of dissatisfaction,the catalyst of unavoidable diseases and curtail happiness more importantly concomitant to the less affluent in the journey of
life
.
To conclude
,it is not too hard to fathom that
children
are under various pressure from a modern-day perspective
although
,In my opinion, there is a danger of being misled if we rely on
this
method of assessment all the time .
Submitted by didar047 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: