IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many people believe that today there is a general increase in anti-social behavior and lack of respect for others. What might have caused this situation? What solutions can you suggest?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It has become an increasing trend for some
people
Use synonyms
 to act in an anti-social way without respecting other
people
Use synonyms
, largely influenced by the financial pressure caused by the current economic recession and misleading information in movies and online videos. In my opinion, addressing
this
Linking Words
 issue necessitates finding the underlying causes of the behaviour.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the increase of
people
Use synonyms
 breaking the law and attacking innocent
people
Use synonyms
 in society stems from the economic crisis, resulting in a large amount of unemployment for normal
people
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
, the misbehaviour can be regarded as a way to show anger for
people
Use synonyms
 suffering from financial pressure who may
otherwise
Linking Words
 have no way to raise attention.
In addition
Linking Words
, the saturation of violence in both movies and online videos may amplify the criminal tendencies of some potential offenders.
For example
Linking Words
, the Internet has been treated as a channel to spread violence to adolescents around the world by some political activists. Addressing
this
Linking Words
 harmful behaviour requires active engagement from the government in recognizing the underlying causes and taking specific measures.
That is
Linking Words
 to say, the government should prioritize the development of the economy and increasing occupations.
For example
Linking Words
, to provide more education opportunities, specific training for some professions, and control the living costs.
Besides
Linking Words
, a righteous social narrative ought to be raised emphasising respecting and loving our community, combined with strict censorship of violent content online. It is the awareness that we are supported and loved by our neighbourhood, community, and society that enables a harmonious atmosphere. In conclusion, it will never be someone's first choice to attack others and commit crimes unless there are deep reasons behind it. Great effort is needed from the government to solve the problems leading to unstable behaviour and cultivate a supportive and encouraging society.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
In addressing task achievement, ensure your response addresses all parts of the prompt, including both causes and solutions comprehensively.
task achievement
Develop ideas fully with a more detailed analysis, including a range of relevant examples to support claims made.
coherence cohesion
Ensure there is a clear and logical structure with cohesive devices linking sentences and paragraphs smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Main points could be supported more effectively with a deeper exploration of evidence and examples.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • diminished
  • empathy
  • individualism
  • self-centered
  • economic pressures
  • competitive nature
  • manifest
  • traditional moral values
  • aggressive content
  • anonymity
  • consequences
  • character education
  • social and emotional learning
  • community-based programs
  • ethical teachings
  • socio-economic contributors
  • regulating
  • promotes
  • discourages
  • foster
What to do next:
Look at other essays: