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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph belowe shows average carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007

The graph belowe shows average carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions per person in the United Kingdom, Sweden, Italy and Portugal between 1967 and 2007
#belowe #carbon #dioxide #co #emissions #person #kingdom #sweden
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The provided line chart
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
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figures
Use synonyms
 in terms of CO2
emmisions
Correct your spelling
emissions
 per person in four European countries (the UK,
Sweden
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,Italy and Portugal) from 1967 to 2007.
Figures
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 are measured in metric
tonnes
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, Portugal and Italy
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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increased their emissions of carbon dioxide over the time period,
while
Linking Words
 the United Kingdom and
Sweden
Use synonyms
 were
abled
Replace the word
able
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 to reduce their CO2
emmissions
Correct your spelling
emissions
.
Although
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 the
figures
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
Sweden
Use synonyms
 and Portugal had
significant
Add an article
a significant
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difference
Fix the agreement mistake
differences
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 in 1967, it has reached
to
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apply
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the same level in the year 2007.
Besides
Linking Words
, the most CO2 emission was from the UK
according to
Linking Words
 the graph. Portugal and Italy started at around 1 and 4 metric
tonnes
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 of carbon dioxide respectively in the year
of
Change preposition
apply
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1967 and rose in the following decades. Portugal witnessed
a
Correct article usage
apply
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steady growth until 1987 and reached approximately 3.5 metric
tonnes
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 before
climbed
Wrong verb form
climbing
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 to 4.5 metric
tonnes
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 in 1997,
while
Linking Words
 Italy experienced a small fluctuation
during
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from
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 1967 to 19997 and accounted for roughly 9.5
metic
Correct your spelling
metric
show examples
tonnes
Use synonyms
 of CO2.
However
Linking Words
, in the
last
Linking Words
 decade(1997-2007) both Italy and Portugal remained at the same
figures
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 of approximately 9.5 and 4.5 metric
tonnes
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 respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the UK showed the highest of 11
MT
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 in 1967 and declined during the period and reached the lowest of 9MT in 207.
Finally
Linking Words
,
Sweden
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 began at 9MT of CO2 in 1967 and climbed significantly in 1997 to reach the peak of 11MT and dropped to 5MT in 2007, which was the same amount of CO2 that Portugal released in 2007.
Submitted by dmdeemanthakasun on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words figures, co, sweden, tonnes, mt with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "climbed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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