Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Nobody would dispute the fact that some teenagers spend most of their leisure
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

on their gadgets, and their behaviours
no
Add a missing verb
are no

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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doubt influenced
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

some reasons. In my opinion,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

smart devices could provide benefits to our life, I believe it is prominent not to overuse
it
Correct pronoun usage
them

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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.
To commence
Fix the infinitive
Commence

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

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with, there
are
Change the verb form
is

The plural form of be are does not seem to agree with the singular subject a range. Consider changing the verb form.

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a range of reasons why modern children attach most of their
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

on smartphones.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, modern parents are either
over protective
Correct your spelling
overprotective

The word over protective seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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or too lenient
to
Change preposition
with

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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their kids. For some reason, they intend to use smart gadgets to attract young teenagers to stay home
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the concern
of
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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safety.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the
technology
Replace the word
technological

The word technology doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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advancement
Add a comma
,advancement

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase due to the technology advancement. Consider adding a comma.

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we have,
youngest
Correct article usage
the youngest

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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can access
to
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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thousands of millions
information
Change preposition
of information

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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by browsing through
search
Add an article
a search
the search

The noun phrase search engine seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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engine
Fix the agreement mistake
engines

It seems that engine may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. It can
allows
Change the verb form
allow

The verb allows after the modal verb can does not appear to be in the correct form. Consider changing the verb form.

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them to self-taught every
skills
Change to a singular noun
skill

The singular quantifier every is followed by the plural noun skills. Consider changing the noun to the singular or using a different quantifier.

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they need to be prepared
in
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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both professional
private
Correct word choice
and private

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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life.
Lastly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it could be dangerous to play outside compared to the years back in
Correct article usage
the 90’s

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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90’s
Change noun form
90s

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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.
In
Change preposition
From

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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my perspective,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

they are quite a number of benefits
from
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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using smartphones,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply

It appears that the word but is unnecessary in this sentence. Consider removing it.

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I believe it is a negative development by far.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, teenagers who spend most of their leisure
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

on smart devices,
for example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

like
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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iPad, might not have good interpersonal skills. They tend to have
introvert
Replace the word
introverted

The word introvert doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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personalities
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker because. Consider removing the comma.

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because they did not have
time
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to meet new people in real life.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
information
Add an article
the information

The noun phrase information seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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they received online might not be true,
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

there
are
Wrong verb form
being

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb are. Consider changing it.

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uncountable scammers out there and it is impossible to filter them out in one setting.
Lastly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, immature kids are more likely to perceive bad influences on social media, which involves illegal activities. In conclusion, it can
therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

be argued that we live in a technology era
which
Change preposition
in which

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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there will be more technology invented in the future, but we need to learn how to differentiate right from wrong from the information we perceive online.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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