IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table's below show people reasons for giving up smoking, and when they intended to give up.

The table's below show people reasons for giving up smoking, and when they intended to give up.
This
Linking Words
table
Use synonyms
 illustrates the information regarding the individual reasons for giving up
smoking
Add an article
the smoking
show examples
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
,
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 when they intended to give up.
Overall
Linking Words
,it
clear
Add a missing verb
is clear
show examples
 that
begain
Correct your spelling
began
 the
Use synonyms
table
Change noun form
table's
show examples
highly
Change the word
high
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of smokers
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 better for health in
general
Add an article
the general
a general
show examples
 category.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 in
second
Add an article
the second
a second
show examples
Use synonyms
table
Add a comma
,table
show examples
 there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 lesser
number
Use synonyms
 of people who
quite
Correct your spelling
quit
show examples
 smoking in the next six months. It is evident from the
table
Use synonyms
 that
Use synonyms
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of cigarettes smoked per day was 71% and they waiting
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 give up because of better health.
While
Linking Words
total
Correct article usage
a total
show examples
31
Change preposition
of 31
show examples
% of cigarettes smoked per day
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 waiting
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 financial pressure.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 total
number
Use synonyms
 of 71% of cigarette
smoker
Fix the agreement mistake
smokers
show examples
 intended to give up within
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 6 months.
Linking Words
Initially
Add a comma
,Initially
show examples
 29% of cigarettes smoked do not intend to give up.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words table, number with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: