Some people think women should be given equal chances to work and excel in their careers. Others believe that a women's role should be limited to taking care of the house and children. What opinion do you agree and why?
There is no denying the fact that the main
role
of females is debatable. While
it is a commonly held belief that a female should raise her kids
and teaches
them Correct subject-verb agreement
teach
life
manners. However
, some people argue that women must have their own rights and she
must take their opportunities in the job the same as men do. I strongly believe that women must look after their own offspring and help them to grow in a healthy environment. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I shall explain my point of view and show why I believe Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
.
To begin
with, females must stay at home and monitor their child
education and behaviours in order to grow them up in a good environment. To illustrate, Change noun form
children's
kids
are born in this
life
and request
extensive care, the Verb problem
require
mother
is the only person who is responsible to raise
and Change preposition
for raising
look
after them. Wrong verb form
looking
However
, if she is busy with her work who is going to raise her children
? Thus
, this
makes it clear that a women's
main Fix the agreement mistake
woman's
role
in the world is raising kids
and she must be free to address her life
role
effectively.
Moreover
, mothers should be free to raise their kids
and maintain their mental health stable. For instance
, a prestigious journal article published that 50% of youth who are grown by a busy working mother
had
been affected by depression. Clearly, Wrong verb form
have
children
need to speak with their moms and complain to them about their feeling
. Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
However
, if the mother
is stressed out with her work, she will be tired and will not listen to their issues. Indeed, it becomes apparent that a female must perform her own role
at home which is looking at her children
and raising them .
In conclusion, in my opinion, I consider that a mom spending her time looking at her children
is better than working and leaving the responsibility of the kids
and hence
requires more attention from society. Therefore
, the mother
must address her kid's life
and monitor them regularly to make sure about their life
and health.Submitted by mgumssan on
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task response
The essay addresses the prompt by presenting the opinion that women's main role is to raise children, but it lacks a balanced discussion of the opposing view. Consider acknowledging the opposing view and providing a rebuttal to strengthen the response.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is somewhat unclear. Ensure that each paragraph has a logical progression and that ideas are organized coherently. Additionally, use transition words to connect ideas more effectively. Provide more specific examples and evidence to support the main points more thoroughly.