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Band 4

Some people think that taking care of the environment is the responsibility of individuals but others think that it is the responsibility of the government. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #care #environment #responsibility #individuals #government
The issue of whether individuals should take responsibility
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
environmental
Replace the word
environment
show examples
 related to protection has been raising a lot of debates.
On the contrary
, others insist on the opinion that
government
 should look after
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 because they
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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already
pay
Wrong verb form
paid
show examples
 tax income annually. To start with, transport has
became
Change the form of the verb
become
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 the main impact
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environmental damage which create
karbon
Correct your spelling
carbon
 dioxide that pollutes the air. People cannot
lives
Correct subject-verb agreement
live
show examples
 without vehicles
such
 as cars, buses or trains nowadays because it is essential in reducing the distance between their destination.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 they are urged to use public transport on short trips which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 more
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
 friendly.
For example
, they can walk,
cycling
Replace the word
cycle
show examples
 or take buses when they go to work and study. By doing so, everyone leads to create less pollution and many a little makes a mickle.
Furthermore
, only
participation
Correct article usage
the participation
show examples
 of
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 can increase the success rate of
protect
Change the verb form
protecting
show examples
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
. They can
fine
Correct your spelling
find
show examples
 the industry which has not installed
Add an article
a filter
show examples
filter
Fix the agreement mistake
filters
show examples
 on their emission. Without the monitoring of
government
, most factories will only prioritise their profit margin over sustainability because their equipment will
increased
Change the verb form
increase
show examples
 their cost and may need to replan their budget. To solve
this problems
Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
show examples
,
local
Add an article
the local
show examples
council
Fix the agreement mistake
councils
show examples
 can provide subsidies to those who are qualified and reward them. In conclusion, I would maintain that only a combination of
government
 and individuals can
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
 to
succeed
Replace the word
success
show examples
 in preventing
further
 damage to the environment.
Submitted by kpplau on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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