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The growing number of obese people is putting strain on the healthcare system.Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in school curriculum. To what extent you are agree or disagree?

#people #strain #healthcare #system #education #lessons #school #curriculum
It is true that
,
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apply
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 in recent years
obesity
 based diseases
spead
Correct your spelling
spread
speed
 considerably in most countries. Many consider that
,
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apply
show examples
 during the schooling period towards
this
 occasion some preventive actions would be implemented and increased awareness of more physical activity
amoung
Correct your spelling
among
 the pupils, the percentage of
obesity
 would be reduced. I partly agree with
this
 statement. In
this
 essay, I will illustrate the pros and cons of
obesity
 clinic problems and educational skills based on my point of view and support it with examples as well.
To begin
 with,
obesity
Correct article usage
the obesity
show examples
 problem occurs in the house. So, parents have to
taking
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take
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 care of their eating periods. Not only
they
Add a missing verb
do they
show examples
 have to cook fresh meals
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for them
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them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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when
ones
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they
show examples
 stay at home, but
also
 mothers would monitor them when the students would be at school.
Also
, the students can aware of some
critic
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critical
show examples
 factors regarding the importance of eating
healty
Correct your spelling
healthy
 foods in
the
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apply
show examples
class. Because physical educational subjects are prepared with helping
the
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apply
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scientific
researches
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research
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.
For example
, if a person has
sedentary
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a sedentary
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 lifestyle in
daily
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their daily
his daily
her daily
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 routine and does not add some physical activities
on
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to
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 his plans,
then
 experiencing
obesity
Correct article usage
an obesity
show examples
 problem would be inevitable. On the flip side, in
the
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apply
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school
education
Add a comma
,education
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students only can acquire some theoretical issues.
However
, the most important part of
this
 condition is how people accomplish
with
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apply
show examples
some practical ways the period respectively. From my point of view, gaining willpower, the importance of inner intelligence and
the
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apply
show examples
other issues must be learnt
to
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by
show examples
 children in the class. In conclusion,
obesity based
Add a hyphen
obesity-based
show examples
 problems that lead to
the
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apply
show examples
cancer or blood pressure,
firstly
 children experienced the causes of
this
 problem with educational skills and the most important thing is
occuring
Correct your spelling
occurring
 moral awareness of preventive actions.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity
  • healthcare system
  • physical education
  • curriculum
  • obese
  • physical activity
  • healthy lifestyle
  • habits
  • sports
  • activities
  • fitness
  • overall health
  • teamwork
  • cooperation
  • leadership skills
  • illnesses
  • mental health
  • academic performance
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