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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people think that newspapers are the best media to learn and get information from, while others believe that the Internet is a better source. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #newspapers #media #information #internet #source
Few individuals believe that newspapers are a great source of learning.
However
, some others claim that the
internet
 is a great innovation
of gather
Change preposition
for gathering
show examples
 information. In my own point of view, The latter reason is more reliable.
This
 essay will
further
 elaborate on both notions with a logical Conclusion. There is a myriad of reasons which will
further
 explain
this
 argument but the most preponderant one stems from the fact that reading newspapers
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 its own benefits.
firstly
,
people
updated
Wrong verb form
update
show examples
 daily.
Secondly
, they get a lot of knowledge
as well as
 increase their reading speed and skills. Another pivotal aspect of
this
 is that it is available at a cheap rate
along with
 waste papers used in other work
such
 as wraps something.
For example
, Newspapers are effective for those students who learn an International language. With the help ,periodical they improve vocabulary, and pronunciation skills
along with
 gathering ideas.
Thus
, reading magazines is important for academic studies. In another school of thought, the
Internet
 plays a vital role in human life because ,In recent days,
people
 read the news on the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 which is more convenient and easier. Through
this
people
 updated every hour.
In other words
, they carry mobile phones with them and check the latest updates in any part of the world. To quote an example,
People
 think
this
 innovation is more interesting because they watch videos and hear sounds without any effort.
As a result
, the
Internet
 is more accessible for learning information. In conclusion,
although
,
Internet
 technology
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
 more beneficial, we cannot ignore newspaper readings because it is important in learning skills and facts.
Submitted by prabhjotsingh2170 on

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Task Achievement
The response addresses the task to some extent but does not fully develop the arguments or opinions effectively. More supporting details and explanations are needed to fully respond to the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is some attempt to organize ideas, but the coherence and cohesion could be improved. The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion and the connection between ideas is not always clear. Use transition words and phrases to improve the flow of ideas and structure of the essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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