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Writing Samples
Band 7

The table's below show people reasons for giving up smoking, and when they intended to give up.

The table's below show people reasons for giving up smoking, and when they intended to give up.
The first table illustrates the most five negatives purposes that
smokers
Use synonyms
 would like to quit smoking
whereas
Linking Words
 the second board depicts how long they would spend to eradicate smoking. Both tables count on the figure of cigarettes smoked daily. The first table has evidence to depict enhancing general health as a sense that takes over 70% of the number of cigarettes. The financial burden is
also
Linking Words
 a primary logic when taking 30% in total of that statistic. The total of cigarettes reasoned preventing illness involved smoking and the family impact by smoking that share 25% and 16%, respectively.
Finally
Linking Words
, already detected health issues are
Add an article
the
show examples
reason that
smokers
Use synonyms
 concern the least in 12%. The second table shows clearly that 35% of
smokers
Use synonyms
 are ready to stop smoking within the next a half year, that number decreases to 21% when they intend in the next year.
Finally
Linking Words
,
smokers
Use synonyms
 find quitting smoking within a month is the most challenging task when only 12% of surveyed
smokers
Use synonyms
. In total, nearly 30% of
smokers
Use synonyms
 do not want to give u smoking.
Overall
Linking Words
, getting out of issues from health is the main reason that
smokers
Use synonyms
 decide to stop smoking and the majority of
smokers
Use synonyms
 are aware of they have a tendency to stop smoking within a year.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words smokers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "depicts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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