Some people believe that smartphones are destroying social interactions today. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays everyone who has the age to have a mobile has one. Because with a phone it is easier to communicate and find information online.

For

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this

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reason, some believe that they are destroying social interactions.

Nevertheless

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, others consider that we should have

this

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kind of technology to get more interaction in our lives. In

this

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essay, I am going to explain why I agree with the first statement.

To begin

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with, most of the

people

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who can access cell phones are using them all the time. Even when they are with their friends or family, they are always doing something with them and forget to talk with

people

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For example

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last

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week I went to have dinner with my colleagues and after we ordered food, everybody was checking their phones and not talking to each other. If no one gets a smartphone,

this

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will never happen.

For

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this

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reason, we must stop using them all the time.

In addition

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, not using technology during our holidays can be good

to meet

Change preposition

for meeting

show examples

new

people

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. Especially, when we are going to the visitor centre to get information

instead

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of looking online.

For instance

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, one day when I was travelling in New Zealand I did not have reception, so I went to the information office to find all I needed.

As a result

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, in

this

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place, I made new friends and good advice about what I have to visit.

Consequently

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, we cannot find everything on mobile.

To sum up

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, talking and meeting new

people

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is very important for our well-being. I strongly believe that we must drop our smartphones and start to interact around us.

Andrea BarretoThu Feb 16 2023

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coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present but need to be more clear and concise. The main points are supported but could be better linked together.

task achievement

The response is relatively complete and addresses the prompt, but the examples provided could be more relevant. The ideas need to be more comprehensive and clear.

12
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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