IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

At present time , employees fail to communicate or to maintain synergy in work place due to theoretical knowledge in educational institutions. To what extent do you agree ?

In today's world, many
employees
Use synonyms
 fail to communicate or
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
maintain synergy in
Use synonyms
Add an article
the work
show examples
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
 as they lack these
skills
Use synonyms
. Dependency on theoretical knowledge
instead
Linking Words
 of obtaining practical knowledge in educational institutions can be identified as one of the major
cause
Fix the agreement mistake
causes
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
 problem. People in
this
Linking Words
 current time , seem to run after obtaining
degree
Add an article
a degree
the degree
show examples
. They do not focus on developing their
skills
Use synonyms
along with
Linking Words
 their studies as they think it is not economically
benefitial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 to them. Rather they often label developing
skills
Use synonyms
 as a waste of time.
Hence
Linking Words
 they dedicate their entire lives towards memorizing their textbooks to score a handsome
grade
Fix the agreement mistake
grades
show examples
 in examinations.
They after
Correct pronoun usage
After
show examples
obtain
Wrong verb form
obtaining
show examples
 a good degree in their evaluations and remain delusional about obtaining a good job with a handsome amount of salary.
However
Linking Words
, they often tend to forget that it is almost impossible to taste success in
professional
Add an article
the professional
show examples
 field without having
proper
Correct article usage
the proper
show examples
skills
Use synonyms
 to communicate or to
work
Use synonyms
 as a team in harmony.
For example
Linking Words
, in most
cases
Add a comma
,cases
show examples
 it is observed that the topper of the daas is unable to prove himself as a worthy teacher
whereas
Linking Words
 a mediocre student can turn out to be the favourite teacher of his students
due to
Linking Words
communication
Use synonyms
 and leadership
skills
Use synonyms
.
Communication
Use synonyms
 and
team
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 are the pillars behind the success of any company.
Absence
Correct article usage
The absence
show examples
 of
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 two basic qualities among the
employees
Use synonyms
 may create a huge imbalance in the
workfield
Correct your spelling
work field
 which eventually might lead
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the fall of that particular company. Without proper leadership
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
, the boss or representative might fail to establish proper
communication
Use synonyms
 with the
employees
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 may prevent the
employees
Use synonyms
 to maintain workplace synergy. The
employees
Use synonyms
 will ultimately run out of innovative ideas which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 necessary to keep the company running. All successful companies viz Apple, Microsoft, Google etc smelled success as their
employees
Use synonyms
 managed to develop and implement those two major
skills
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, we can reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 decision that, it is very necessary to develop
communication
Use synonyms
 and
team
Correct your spelling
teamwork
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
work
Add an article
the work
show examples
 field and it can be possible if our students moved out from theory oriented teaching method and got indulged in developing
skills
Use synonyms
 .

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: