Many people think that personal happiness is directly related to economic success. Others argue that happiness depends on other factors. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#people #happiness #success #factors

The financial state of you for many people believed could

tells

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tell

show examples

how much happy you are.

Due to

the fact that most of

nation

Correct article usage

the nation

show examples

believed that there is

Correct article usage

a storng

show examples

storng

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strong

connection between

psychogical

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psychological

well being and financial state.

While

other

Correct pronoun usage

others

show examples

disagree and outline other factors.In

this

essay

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,essay

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I will examine both

side

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sides

show examples

and provide my opinion

at the end

. Start with the first view, with high demands of

money

everywhere in

critcal

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critical

part

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parts

show examples

of life like health, education and so far would

makes

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make

show examples

sense why people connect their happiness directly to

money

For example

Health

Correct article usage

the Health

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insurance

price

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prices

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increased

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show examples

more than 25%

unlike

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,unlike

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past

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the past

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which puts

adult

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adults

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hard

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a hard

show examples

stituation

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situation

situations

to work hard so they can provide a good quality of service to their families.

Moreover

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,Moreover

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If they are not able to

achive

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achieve

that ,definitely that would

effect

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affect

show examples

their

happines

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happiness

Additionly

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Additionally

, many personal

goal

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goals

show examples

is connected to

money

or Finacial support required to meet it.So that would

made

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make

be made

show examples

understandable

Correct pronoun usage

it understandable

show examples

why they connected to their happiness. Turning to

Correct article usage

the other

show examples

other

Change the wording

another

show examples

side, There are many factors

can

Correct pronoun usage

that can

show examples

influance

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influence

of person even if their financial state

good

Add a missing verb

is good

show examples

enough. One of the common factors is

type

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a type

the type

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of personality and

they

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the

show examples

way that think.

For instance

, some people when

pass

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passing

show examples

through

hard

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a hard

show examples

time

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times

show examples

they see it as

Correct article usage

a challange

show examples

challange

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challenge

and

chance

Correct article usage

a chance

show examples

to learn

a new skills

Correct the article-noun agreement

new skills

a new skill

show examples

while

other

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others

show examples

believed that time

wont

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won't

show examples

never pass. How you think positively or

negitively

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negatively

would for sure

effect

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affect

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

happiness.

Which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

totaly

Correct your spelling

totally

agreed with it. In conclusion, even

that

Correct word choice

though

show examples

money

play

Correct article usage

a critcal

show examples

critcal

Correct your spelling

critical

factor in

may

Correct your spelling

show examples

part of our daily life but

still

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,still

show examples

we have

another

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

imoprtant

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important

factor like

they

Correct your spelling

the

show examples

way we see things and

anaylsis

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analysis

situtuion

Correct your spelling

situation

situations

solution

Submitted by amoor.the on Thu Feb 16 2023

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
58Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

269 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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