Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In
this
era
some Add a comma
,era
people
argue that the effective way to gain public health
is by developing more sports
facilities
. However
, others believe it will give slight
impact Correct article usage
a slight
to
Change preposition
on
the
society and Correct article usage
apply
needs
other solutions. Change the verb form
need
Although
building more public health
facilities
will be beneficial for people
, I believe it will be better to educate people
for
Change preposition
to
maintain
their Change the verb form
maintaining
health
that further
will be discussed in the following essay.
To begin
with, people
could use
public sports
facilities
for free instead
of going to the gym that
will Correct pronoun usage
which
spent
more money. A Change the verb form
spend
government
has an obligation to keep public health
by constructing sports
center
. Fix the agreement mistake
centers
People
could use
this
facilitation together without considering to pay
for Change the verb form
paying
equipment
they Correct article usage
the equipment
use
. For instance
, they could jogging
Change the verb form
jog
be jogging
in
the jogging track or Change preposition
on
dancing
in a large group every weekend. Change the verb form
dance
be dancing
Thus
, the government
help people
to save their money and gain their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
healthy
.
Replace the word
health
In contrast
, I think the Government
should prioritize to educate
Change the verb form
educating
people
before build
public Wrong verb form
building
sport
Change the noun form
sports
facilities
regarding to
become Remove the preposition
apply
burden
Add an article
a burden
in
maintaining Change preposition
of
sports
facilities
. I believe not all people
use
the facilities
and also
the Government
have to spent
more budget on maintenance. Change the verb
spend
For example
, month after month there will be a lot of equipment that damaging by irresponsible people
who use
it not in the right way and in some cases they Add a missing verb
do use
not
try to repair the equipment. The Change the verb form
do not
did not
government
should take another measurements
Replace the adjective
another measurement
other measurements
such
as educate
Wrong verb form
educating
people
how
to improve their Change preposition
on how
health
without build
public Change the verb form
building
sports
facilities
.
To sum up
, some people
could spend less money when they use
sports
center
.Fix the agreement mistake
centers
However
, I believe that by
educating them Change preposition
apply
how
to gain their Change preposition
on how
health
without using public sports
facilities
, it is more beneficial than build
Wrong verb form
building
sports
facilities
.Submitted by misstiasclassroom on
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