IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that we should replace old buildings and houses in cities with more modern buildings. Other people think we should protect old buildings. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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The debate on the preservation of old buildings is a prime concern throughout the different parts of the globe.
Moreover
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, proponents believe that there should be replacement of modern buildings and
structures
Use synonyms
 in place of primitive period houses in urban areas;
Whereas
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, opposers opine that these old
structures
Use synonyms
 should be conserved. In my opinion, I side my conviction towards the affirmation of the former ideology thinking that it is imperative to replace primitive stays with modern-looking architectures to elevate its longevity
along with
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 structural integrity which will be
further
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 explained in
this
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 essay by discussing both of these viewpoints. Embarking on the discussion, the replacement of aged architectural
structures
Use synonyms
 with new-looking houses and accommodations will be accounted as a prosperous decision as it will provide the dwellers of various communities with an improved place to stay
along with
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 the incorporation of contemporary designs.
Additionally
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, these amendments will ensure the promotion of longevity of those newly transformed dwelling
units
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due to
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 their enhanced integration with current-day housing standards and superior built quality.
For instance
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, countries like China are progressively replacing ancient architectural
units
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 with skyscrapers around the nation to provide their denizens with a better place to live with improvised dwelling standards.
However
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, as per the opposing analogy, it is believed that the protection of these ancient monumental
units
Use synonyms
 is crucial
due to
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 their importance pertaining to cultural and heritage values.
Furthermore
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, by
following
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this
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 thought process not only the nation will become rich in conservation of the heritage values but
also
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 it will create an attraction for the future tourism industry to appreciate the uniqueness and beauty of those primitive housing.
For example
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, as per a published report, India had banned the demolition of these old-era monuments possessing cultural importance throughout the country for the purpose of transforming those sites into spots for tourist attractions. Having said that, some parts of society think that the replacement of contemporary houses with ancient
structures
Use synonyms
 is an unavoidable necessity. Meanwhile, the same mentality is being opposed by the opposers thinking it is crucial to preserve
such
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units
Use synonyms
 for their cultural and heritage importance. Contrasting
this
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 ideology, I emphasize promoting the former belief in the betterment of the quality of living standards with appreciating superior amenities for the citizens.

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task achievement
Ensure that all sections of the essay are balanced in terms of their focus on each viewpoint. Consider giving equal space and attention to both sides of the debate before presenting your opinion.
coherence cohesion
While using advanced vocabulary is commendable, it's important to avoid overcomplicating sentences. Aim for clarity and simplicity to ensure that your arguments are readily understood.
coherence cohesion
Refine your transition between ideas for smoother reading. Adding linking words and phrases will enhance the flow of your arguments.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant and specific examples to support the main points, such as the examples of China and India.
task achievement
Both opposing views are discussed, showcasing an understanding of the topic's complexity.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your opinion and provides closure to the discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • paramount
  • evolutionary journey
  • tangible link
  • fostering
  • sense of belonging
  • architectural beauty
  • economic benefit
  • tourist attractions
  • preservation techniques
  • structural integrity
  • energy-efficient
  • sustainable architecture
  • cultural preservation
  • urban demands
  • contemporary lifestyles
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