It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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History is extremely crucial for toddlers. It is argued that native history is good for students as compared to world chronicle. I partially agree with the given statement. To commence with, youngsters should learn about

past

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

time because it

is providing

Wrong verb form

provides

show examples

essential information

between

Change preposition

about

show examples

traditions and cultures.

In other words

, several nations have made memorials a compulsory subject for senior secondary schools. Many ancient people sacrificed their lives to preserve cultures. It

is providing

Wrong verb form

provides

show examples

information regarding traditional events and customs. Local natives should need proper comprehension.

For example

, more than one-fifth of the population lost their lives in 1923 fighting against the American troops and protecting China. After that, the Chinese authorities

make

Wrong verb form

made

show examples

history subjects compulsory for secondary and college students.

Thus

, memoirs are extremely important for adolescents.

In addition

, general knowledge about all cultures is extremely beneficial for inhabitants. They can effortlessly make a successful career as a teacher or professor because teachers should understand all kinds of civilizations.

For example

, Mark Johnson had widespread popularity

due to

massive comprehension. Students

were liking

Wrong verb form

liked

show examples

to talk with him. They had a great professor in the world.

As a result

, all kinds of knowledge are vital for juveniles.

To conclude

, unquestionably, all kinds of understanding are important and teenagers should read seriously because it is providing prehistoric times. Several individuals had lost their lives.

Submitted by lovishh on Thu Feb 16 2023

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task response

Improve task response by addressing the prompt directly and providing a clear stance on the topic.

coherence cohesion

The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, and the main points are not well-supported. Work on structuring the essay with clear paragraphs and linking words for better coherence and cohesion.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

223 words

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It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Word Count

Human activities have had a negative effect on plant and animal life all over the world. Some people think that it is too late to do something about it while others think that there is still time to take effective action. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with other people and news events. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, develop countries should give other types of help to poorer countries rather than financial aid. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

In many countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building. Do you agree or disagree?