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Writing Samples /
Band 4

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#governments #money #railways #roads
Nowadays, governments of many countries invest
money
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 developing
railways
 and
roads
.
However
, some people believe that more
money
 should spend on
railways
. I believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 expenses should be utilised based on the
requirment
Correct your spelling
requirement
requirements
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public transportation
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because in some
countries'
Correct your spelling
countries
show examples
roads
 require more renovations,
while
 some
in
Add a missing verb
are in
show examples
 need of
railways
. In terms of trains, it cost
comparatively
Correct article usage
a comparatively
show examples
 larger amount of
money
 and human power to build tracks and platforms.
However
, the percentage that benefited from trains depends on the country and the situation.
For example
, many developed
contries
Correct your spelling
countries
 have spent a lot of
money
 on modern trains and lines as many travels longer distance for work.
Hence
, it is required higher costs to maintain the facility.
On the other hand
,
money
 should
be spend
Change the verb form
be spent
show examples
 on
roads
 in order to facilitate
short distance
Add a hyphen
short-distance
show examples
 travellers as well. For an instance, Sri Lanka
experience
Change the verb form
experiences
show examples
high
Add an article
a high
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 volume of traffic because of bad road conditions, poor traffic systems etc. Compared to the railway system, Sri Lankans travel in buses, personal vehicles, bicycles etc,
while
roads
 are in bad
conditions
Fix the agreement mistake
condition
show examples
. To overcome
this
, more
money
 should be spent on developing
roads
 than on
railways
.
To conclude
,
money
 in a country should be well spent
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
based on its
requirment
Correct your spelling
requirement
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 public transportation as
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 a
controversal
Correct your spelling
controversial
 aspect in a country.
Submitted by dmdeemanthakasun on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
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